The Dying Moe Bullet
by Dancing Mask
Summary: Leon's been acting strange, and the Dying Will Bullet now has an unexpected side effect. But could Tsuna put a stop to it, even if he wanted to? Comedy and cuteness go hand-in-hand here.
1. Why Me

Disclaimer: I do not own or make any money off KHR, sadly.

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Tsuna, a boy of average height with an explosion of messy brown hair, was currently dangling from the school roof. At the other end of the thin fishing wire tied around his ankle a small suited baby was holding onto a fishing rod, and his life.

"Question nine," announced the baby ominously in his high voice. "Who was the first reigning emperor in the Kajō era? Horikawa-tennō or Toba-tennō?"

Tsuna stared blankly on hearing this, sweat running off his head like a summer storm.

"You're going ahead of our history class now! How is this supposed to help me?" he shrieked, wondering about his infant tutor's sanity. Up above him, the easy-going Yamamoto chuckled casually.

"He's pretty creative with these games, isn't he?"

"You can do it Tenth! This one's easy for someone like you!" encouraged Gokudera, his self-appointed 'right-hand man'. Tsuna felt like slamming his head into a desk, if he lived long enough to go on the ground and see one again.

"Um... T-T-Toba-tennō?" he shut his eyes in preparation.

"Wrong again, no-good-Tsuna." He felt his stomach lurch as Reborn unravelled the line even more, Tsuna subsequently plummeting several feet.

"Wow, I'm running out of line. When that happens, you might fall," warned Reborn innocently. "And you'll still be three stories above ground level, too..."

"Hiii!" Tsuna's not-unfeminine cry echoed across the track field below. Naturally, Gokudera and Yamamoto didn't attempt to stop this- either believing Tsuna was smart enough to win, or not seriously believing he was in any danger.

Today's history lesson came to an abrupt end however, when the door to the rooftops slammed open. Stepping out with calm deliberate movements was the head of the school's Disciplinary Committee, Hibari Kyouya.

"Classes have ended," the raven-haired teen said, a dangerous glint in his eye. "Your noises shouldn't be crowding the school at this hour." Gokudera and Yamamoto paused for a moment, nervous and unsure how to address the guy as always.

"They're with me," Reborn piqued up, even as he spooled Tsuna back up on his line. "As his tutor, using Nanimori school facilities should be fine for supplementary lessons."

_How is the edge of the roof a facility?_ Tsuna wanted to yell out, as he climbed back onto a solid surface for the first time in an hour. He settled for kissing the concrete instead, as he tried to make his legs move without shaking.

Hibari merely glared on seeing the baby, and made to leave the rooftop without a word.

"Wait," Reborn held him back, alarming the others. "I was just going to use Gokudera, but you're perfect for what I had in mind."

"Hiiii!" Tsuna clutched his head. "Why would anyone talk to Hibari-san any longer then they have to?"

"... What is it?" Hibari stood at the doorway, head turned back towards the group.

"Stand still," Reborn instructed, pulling out a large green revolver out of seemingly nowhere. Hibari's face betrayed no flicker of surprise or alarm, stoic as always, as Reborn aimed at him.

"R-Reborn! What are you doing?"

"Haha, target practice?"

"Don't shoot him!" The trio reacted too late, just a split second before Reborn shot their Cloud Guardian. Unable to stop the bullet, Tsuna watched in horror as Hibari stared down the zooming lead, almost as if he was daring it to strike his pale skin.

_Was it a dying will bullet? Did he use a real gun, to test Hibari-san? _Tsuna's mind raced with questions, as an explosion of smoke billowed out across the rooftop. Arm up against the smoke the Vongola Decimo stepped forward nervously, wondering what had happened.

At first glance, Hibari was nowhere to be seen. Tsuna blinked confusedly.

"What, is that an Arcobaleno thing?" Gokudera asked, rubbing his eyes in shock.

"Man, we sure do see a lot of children around here, huh? Another friend of yours, kid?" Yamamoto asked casually. Only then did Tsuna look down, to see an infant with silky dark hair and narrow eyes glaring towards him, in the exact spot Hibari had been standing in.

"Hm. Seems I was a little off," Reborn muttered, looking impassively towards his gun.

"Di-di-did you just turn Hi-Hi-Hibari-san into a baby?" Tsuna jumped backwards, arms flailing.

"Hahahaha!" Gokudera picked up the infant Hibari, who was currently wearing his dark jacket over his entire body. Laughing, Gokudera teased the baby, sticking his tongue out.

"Not so big now, are you- ouch!" He dropped the baby immediately, as Hibari bit him on the finger. "What the hell!" he thundered, glaring.

"I onwee let herbiwores pick me up," the baby spoke coldly, turning towards Tsuna with his arms raised.

Tsuna nervously fumbled the baby, lifting him warily. Hibari turned into him, pressing his head against Tsuna's chest. _Does Hiabri... like me?_

"Herbiwores are safe..." he muttered sleepily, as a smile bloomed across Tsuna's face. "No chance they could hurt me, won' dare twy anything..." _How rude!_

"So, Reborn-san... Did you mean to turn Hibari into a baby?" Tsuna asked, confused.

"Nope," the infant replied, putting away his gun.

"But- how do we fix it?"

"I don't know," Reborn replied, kicking him in the shin viciously. "Let's head back to mama now." Hopping as he struggled not to upset the surprisingly heavy infant curled in his arms, Tsuna followed Reborn off the roof.

"But wait! Reborn! What are we gonna do with a baby Hibari?"

"I don't know, it might be good to just leave him like that," Gokudera spoke up, a grin on his face.

"I never knew that guy had a little brother..." Yamamoto mused. Tsuna wondered what he was going to do with the two of them, as they left the school. What had Reborn been trying to do? How where they going to fix it, or explain the baby he was now carrying?

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Chapter written while wearing: the Sky Ring.

A/N: Here is my first attempt at a fluff story, thankyou everyone who read this far! ^.^ I promise to shoot other characters and focus on them more as I go. Feel free to ask me anything about this fic, and be as blunt/honest as you like in your criticisms, I need it. Bye for now~


	2. Free Bird

Wow... thanks so much to everyone who favourited and reviewed! This story already has the most favourites of anything I've ever done... it's kind of scary, but I promise to try and keep it up.

Review walls look like fun, so I stole this from some others. Thanks go to:

**Kichou**: Lucky first review! Hopefully this is soon enough. **doremishine itsuko**: Haha, I'm glad you liked it. I'll keep him a baby for a while longer, don't worry. **SniperKingSogeking0341**: Like the regular Hibari then? xP Hopefully he's in character, as a baby, if that makes sense... **blackened r0se**: What a coincidence, so do I! The effect will be different on everyone, so it should keep things interesting. **SC14297**: Well, this chapter's over double the length, so hopefully I delivered there? Yeah, my prologue was a little too short. **Yuki-chan99**: Wow, you have enough ideas for your own fic like this. I've already decided on the main pairing I'm afraid, but I'll make sure every character has a moment somewhere along the way. **XXxKHRObsessionxXX**: Ciaoosu! I think Yamamoto puts it on sometimes, and hides his real thoughts behind that smile... it suits an assassin. **orangesky3**: You're pretty spot-on, yep. Hopefully the next chapter isn't too predictable! **expletive deleted**: Thanks! Reborn is kind of evil, I think... **ezcap1st**: There's a lot of cute art for it if you search, I was inspired by a few pics for this part. **Bluegirl**: Sorry, I won't have any other babies, Hibari will get all the baby jokes to himself. Still, what the bullet does to the others should be just as good!

And extra thanks to **Burnt. Caramel. Midi. **who provided some valuable insight into how the crazy fangirl mind works. Now, on with the chapter!

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Tsuna walked through the sunset-lit streets of Nanimori, a bad feeling in his chest. Reborn had stayed silent about why he shot Hibari up on the roof- and what he had been trying to do by that- before disappearing somewhere. _Does he always have to make things as hard as he can for me?_ Tsuna mentally whined.

"You want me to carry the little guy?" asked Yamamoto, grinning good-naturedly as he saw Tsuna struggling with the heavy infant in his arms.

"Oh, thanks!" Tsuna sighed the moment he was free of his sleeping burden, as Yamamoto lifted baby Hibari onto his chest. The dark-haired boy stirred in his sleep, staying quiet as he decided to use Yamamoto's shoulder for a pillow.

"Hey, he lets you carry him as well?" Gokudera asked, smiling evilly as he walked alongside them.

"It seems so," Yamamoto said, ruffling his thin hair casually. Gokudera burst out laughing at this, drawing looks from people on the street.

"You're both 'herbivores' if he lets you carry him, so Hibari must think I'm the strongest one here then!" he grinned as he taunted Yamamoto.

"Dat's not it," Hibari muttered in his higher voice. Gokudera paused, cigarette falling out of his mouth- he hadn't realised he had been awake this whole time.

Hibari glared at him through one open eye, explaining. "You're a big herbiwore, but you're too stoopid to know it; might drop me or try somethin' funny. These guys are proper herbiwores, know their place." Hibari turned back towards Yamamoto, grabbing the teenager's thumb with his fist, and promptly fell back to sleep.

Yamamoto chuckled, and even Tsuna had trouble stifling his laughter.

"So we're all 'herbivores', but you're the dumbest?" Yamamoto asked. Gokudera merely scowled at him, muttering about idiot babies who were just covering for their fear. It was obvious Hibari respected his strength, wasn't it?

Hibari's breathing slowed- he was properly asleep this time, it seemed. Tsuna took a moment to relax, enjoying the park they were now walking past. A fountain bubbled nearby, capturing the setting sun, and the trees were starting to grow again- it would be spring in a few weeks.

Unfortunately, Tsuna's mind was merely stalling- he knew every time he had a moment of peace to himself, three hellish moments would come by the next day. He really ought to have been thinking about the Shimon family- who had just joined his school and already caused a lot of trouble- or about that inheritance ceremony Reborn kept subtly hinting at (read: he wrote 'INHERITANCE' on bricks and threw them at Tsuna to wake him up this morning). But those, he decided, were problems for another day.

_Oh crap! Adelheid might take over the school while Hibari-san is like this..._ Tsuna belatedly remembered. This could turn into a real problem. Mama would be fine with another baby in the house (he felt slightly shafted at how much time and attention she gave to the other kids- hadn't she always said she only wanted one child?), but what would Tsuna say to the others when they saw the baby?

"Oh, he's cute Tsuna-kun! Is he a friend?" Kyoko asked, as her, Haru, Lambo and I-pin suddenly greeted them in the park.

Well, now would be a good time to think of something.

"You'll love this!" Gokudera grinned at the girls (and Lambo), pointing towards the fair-skinned baby now drooling slightly on Yamamoto's school shirt. "This here's Hibari!"

"Hahi?" Haru coked her head sideways, looking at Hibari in confusion.

"Wait," Kyoko put her hands together. "You mean he has the same name as the Head of the Disciplinary Committee at school, Gokudera-kun?"

"No, listen!" Gokudera waved his hands in frustration. "This here's Hibari Ky-"

"Kyosuke Hibari!" Tsuna interrupted, suddenly yelling in his panic.

The others looked at him expectantly.

"Well, uh..." Tsuna rubbed the back of his head nervously. "He's Hibari-san's little brother!" _Please let them buy it please let them buy it please let them buy it!_

"Aww! How cute!" Kyoko bent down, cooing over the infant Cloud Guardian. "Is he staying with you for now?"

"Yes!" Tsuna grasped at her suggestion, making up his story on the spot. "Hibari-san is sick, so he asked us to look after his brother Kyosuke. So Hibari-_chan_ over here," he indicated the baby, "Is staying with me. At my place. While Hibari is definitely somewhere else, and not with me."

Yamamoto said nothing, but Gokudera wasn't as willing to let his rather blatant lie slide.

"That idiot with the attitude didn't ask you anything like that, Tenth!"

"You're right," Yamamoto looked at him sternly. "He didn't ask, he pretty much ordered us!" he began to laugh, lightening the mood again. Tsuna crossed his fingers, hoping Gokudera would take the hint and drop it for now. He always wanted as few people as possible to be involved in Reborn's insanity, and if this was mafia-related somehow, then he really didn't want Kyoko-chan and the others involved. Except maybe Lambo.

Thankfully- for some reason- Yamamoto had picked up on what he was hoping, and his words were enough to keep Gokudera quiet as they walked back to Tsuna's place. Reborn himself had vanished almost right after they left the school, so he'd probably been home for half-an-hour by now.

"I'm home!" Tsuna called out, as Gokudera, Yamamoto, Kyoko, Haru, Lambo, I-pin and the smaller model Hibari all came barging in behind him. Tsuna's house felt a little crowded at times. Strangely, Reborn was nowhere to be seen, with only his Mama and Bianchi preparing that night's dinner in the kitchen.

"Tsu-kun, you have a new friend?" his mother asked, looking at the baby Ymamoto had just passed back to him.

"Um, yes. Would it be okay if Hibari-san, er, Hibari-_chan_ stayed for a while?" Tsuna stressed the _–chan , _making sure it was obvious this Hibari was a child. Fortunately, everything he said had been lost on the brunette, as his mother lifted the baby Hibari with hearts in her eyes.

"He's so cuuuuute~!" she squealed, hugging Hibari tightly. The dark-haired infant looked at her tiredly, eyes red and half-closed as he was woken up, but he made no effort to stop her.

"He's adorable, isn't he?" Haru agreed, taking Hibari from Nana Sawada and having a turn cuddling him. Unfortunately, the moment she picked up Hibari an audible _chomp!_ echoed through the room.

"Ugh... uwaaah!" Haru tried hard not to cry, as Hibari's tiny teeth clamped on her hand.

"I guess he's a little fussy, dear" Tsuna's mother smiled gently. Hibari glared, but made no move to stop Nana as she retrieved him from Haru. He seemed to tolerate her presence- Tsuna remembered hearing Reborn once refer to his mother as 'a woman with a gentle heart'; maybe this was what he meant?

"Hey, Tenth." Gokudera pulled Tsuna aside, out of the crowded kitchen.

"Where's Reborn?"

"I don't know. He should have gotten here way before us," Tsuna wondered.

"I'm worried."

"About Reborn?" That was the last person Tsuna would worry about.

"About his gun! What if he can turn anyone into a baby?" Gokudera's hands flailed as he tried to explain the horrors of being a kid again. He seemed genuinely worried about the possibility.

Tsuna found it hard not to agree with Gokudera, watching Bianchi try to feed the infant Hibari on the bench. He stubbornly refused to even look at the woman, let alone accept her food. Bianchi was getting violent, trying to force his mouth open, but it didn't seem to be working considering the bite marks along her wrist.

"What if we had to eat her cooking?" Tsuna shuddered.

"Tsuna! Door for you!" Yamamoto called out from the living room, which was empty right now. Tsuna headed back, followed by a smaller set of footsteps then usual. He looked back to see Hibari clutching the ankle of his pants leg in one tiny hand, keeping pace with him. He'd followed the moment Tsuna left the room- it was surprisingly sweet of Hibari, Tsuna had to admit. Hibari followed him like this to the door, where the no-good Mafia heir found an old friend waiting.

"D-D-Dino-san!" Tsuna looked up to see a blonde man in a well-crafted suit grinning boyishly at him.

"Long time no see, Tsuna! Thank God you're okay!" Dino grabbed him by the shoulders, startling Tsuna.

"Um, 'okay'? What's happening?"

"I came as soon as I realised, I think we still have time to-" Dino stopped halfway through his words, suddenly looking at the baby holding onto Tsuna's leg with a look of pure horror.

"Is this who I think it is?"

"Not so loud!" Tsuna indicated Kyoko, Haru and the others beyond the foyer. "And yeah, it's Hibari-san," he mumbled.

"I _a_m too late! This isn't good," Dino started to pace back and forth, still in the doorway.

"You seem really worried," Tsuna commented. "But this isn't so bad, is it? I mean, he's actually kind of cute this way. Gokudera-kun was hoping he would never change back," he joked.

"Of course he's cute!" Dino exploded. "He's adorable! This is what I was afraid of." The Italian bit his lip, frowning. "We might need to smuggle you out of here. Has anyone else been shot?"

"Wait, smuggle? Hiii~!" Dino's panic spread to Tsuna, who was momentarily paralysed by an image of two Mafia-goons locking him in the boot of some fancy European car, bound and gagged.

"Calm down Tsuna," Dino shook him by the shoulders, the brunet going limp. "Tell me: has anyone else been shot?"

"Um, no, I don't think so... Maybe on the news last week?" Tsuna tried to remember, his thoughts muddled.

"I mean by Reborn!"

"I... don't really know what's happening. He just shot Hibari-san to test something today and left. I haven't seen him shoot anyone else..."

"So he hasn't told you anything?" Dino seemed to calm down a little. "Okay, if it's just started we should be okay." Dino smoothed over his hair, sighing as he breathed out for what felt like the first time in ages.

"Dino, what do you know that I don't?" Tsuna was torn between the blonde man's mysterious ranting and his own urge to hide and ignore everything someone in the Mafia told him.

"Leon-" Dino stopped, grimacing in pain. Below them, Hibari had just lifted Dino's pants leg and bitten down on his ankle, little teeth furiously grinding.

"Ow! Wha-wha what was that for?" Dino stammered, trying to prise off the little skylark with difficulty. Tsuna felt sweat run down the back of his head.

_He hasn't brought any of his subordinates with him!_

After a moment of stumbling, hopping, crashing through the living room and careful coaxing, Dino managed to lift Hibari off of his leg. "Why'd you do that?"

"You deserve it for ignowing me," Hibari replied calmly.

"But you didn't say anything!" Dino pointed out.

"I looked at you," Hibari replied, as if it was obvious what that meant.

"Anyway," Dino sat down in an armchair, settling Hibari onto his lap. "I won't let it happen like it did last time. Reborn left me in the dark for as long as he could, to 'improve my sense of understanding and independent information-seeking on my own," he shuddered as he spoke. "As if a Mafia boss has to be an ace detective as well."

"Dino, enough with the suspense! What is it?" Tsuna asked, now more curious then ever.

"Leon is-"

"Ciaossu!" Reborn greeted the two, suddenly making his presence known. Tsuna turned to the still-open door to see his infant tutor, a mischievous glint in his eyes even through the usual poker face he wore. What he saw made him want to scream and curl into a ball.

For Reborn had just arrived on someone's shoulder.

"Tenth! What the hell is _he_ doing here?" Gokudera ran into the room, rings already out. Yamamoto followed him, the intent to kill over his grim features.

For Reborn was riding the shoulder of none other then Rokudo Mukuro.

-to be continued-

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Chapter written while wearing: the Cloud Ring.

Let me know what you thought please! Constructive criticism is welcome.


	3. Just My Way

Thankyou so much for the response *w* This fic is easier to write then my others, so I'll try to update once more before the new year. I can't promise though, with how busy it gets around Christmas.

**Kichou**: You'll find out about Mukuro this chapter~ It would be cute, I think, good idea. **Reidluver**: Hopefully you like where I'm going with this, it has more plot then I planned at first. But I prefer it like this, compared to the early draft. Wouldn't everyone be scared of becoming a baby? **Ezcap1st**: Haha, I've got a lot of cliffhangers planned, so don't get too comfortable. **VirguleAddict**: That's something I was worried about. I remember there being a vague amount of time with Shimon staying in Nanimori before the one week of plot and Reborn testing them all, so this'll be set then? Treat it as filler since everything ought to be back to normal by the end, please. **Orangesky3**: Thankyou! I think it suits him, since he's always says he's going to bite people. **SniperKingSogeking0341**: Exactly xD You just know he wasn't a gentle child, huh? **Lulu-ichigo**: Thanks! Your answer is here~ Hibari's such a tsundere, he'll never admit what he's thinking, though. **Chocolate Fax Machine**: Thankyou~ Ah, Enma still hasn't made an entrance in this fic, but he's going to be a main pairing, if I ever get around to it xP. It'll be good, trust me! **Bluegirl**: Thanks, I'll try. One baby's all you need really, just means all of those ideas can be used with Hibari, which no one seems to mind. **Black maid56**: Haha, yup. Thanks, it was fun picturing him as a baby. How long will he stay like that? Well, that would be telling now, wouldn't it *winks*

**Burnt. Caramel. Midi. **gets an extra thanks again, for helping with Mukuro's dialogue. Your request *is* being started now, calm down girl. Now, to chapter three!

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Mukuro. A tall man with an evil twinkle in his eyes, his midnight blue hair pulled back in a signature spiky 'pineapple' ponytail. There was no mistaking it. The same man who had gone to hell and back for his powers- bound behind the trademark eye patch- and had tried to kill all of Tsuna's friends and take his body.

The Mafia heir felt himself try and sink back into the plush armchair, mind panicking to much for action. _He was in his living room!_

"Relax idiots," chirped a high voice, as Reborn calmly jumped off the shoulder of the illusionist, hopping into his out-stretched palm, before Mukuro carefully lowered him to the ground.

"Relax? What the hell?" Gokudera fumed as literally as his dynamite. Yamamoto glared, expression unreadable, as Dino panicked only marginally less then Tsuna.

"Think for once, no-good Tsuna. Doesn't something seem off?" Reborn kicked him in the leg, as the brunet looked on in confusion.

"S-something off?" Rokudo Mukuro only bowed gracefully, smiling as he rested on one knee before the Tenth.

"Is there something I could assist you with?" he enquired in a smooth tone. His smile made Tsuna wonder if he was being sarcastic, and was about to stab him with a suddenly-materialised trident.

"Um, n-n-n-no, I'm okay..." The boy squirmed in his seat. Why was he here? Mukuro didn't _seem_ dangerous right now, but that was like saying Lambo wasn't annoying; true for a second or two at best.

Suddenly, he was reminded of the final person in this room, as a small thud announced him falling off a chair. Tsuna turned to see the infant Hibari wobbling away from them all, legs visibly shaking.

'Is Hibari... scared?" he blurted without thinking, his shock making him forget the situation for a moment.

"...no," came the squeak of a reply.

Everyone turned to see Hibari stumble, crawling up the stairs now, as he steadfastly refused to look any of them in the eye.

"Too many idiots... just cwowds me. I don' like cwowds," he insisted softly, not believed by anyone for a moment. Tsuna felt sorry for the dark-haired newborn as he sat on the end of the steps, keeping wary eyes- and a safe distance away- from Mukuro as he clutched a blanket tightly in his little fists. _He's scared of Mukuro... it kinda reminds me of myself,_ Tsuna thought.

With a jolt, he remembered he _was_ scared of Mukuro, and the deadly man was still smiling at his feet, waiting for him expectantly. But the thing was, Tsuna didn't feel scared... why was that?

"Wait... he's not dangerous guys."

'What! Are you serious?"

"Are you... sure, Tsuna?

Tsuna couldn't explain it, gulping nervously. "I just don't feel like he's here to hurt us. It's like Reborn said, something is different..."

"Idiot," Reborn whacked him on the head sharply as he spoke up. "You're using your Vongola Hyper Intuition, but aren't even aware of it. You should recognise that feeling better by now." Tsuna rubbed his head, wincing from the impact.

"Wait, so he's not here to fight?" Dino stood up, looking at Mukuro suspiciously. "Reborn... tell me you didn't use that bullet again!"

"You're right, for once," Reborn smirked as he answered his former pupil.

"Wha? What?" Tsuna's head swivelled back and forth as he tried to follow this, as if he were at a tennis match. "But, Mukuro's not a baby... he couldn't have shot him, right?" Reborn chided at his comment, chuckling.

"Tsuna, the Dying Moe Bullet doesn't just turn people into babies," Dino explained.

"Dy-dying moe bullet?" Tsuna blinked in confusion, as his right hand man audibly sighed in relief.

"Let me explain," Dino sighed, settling back. Mukuro stood up and took a seat on the armchair when Tsuna shifted nervously, still smiling that creepy, almost gentle smile of his. _He's not even talking much... _Tsuna shook his head, trying to concentrate on what Dino told him. This was important.

"Leon is a shape-shifting chameleon, right? Well, when it becomes mating season for shape-shifting lizards, once every decade, they have a very, um, unusual way of expressing it."

"Question!" Gokudera held up his hand, his UMA senses tingling. "There are other shape-shifting lizards out there?"

"Of course," sighed the suited sun arcobaleno. "How could there be only one of a species? How would they breed?"

"Oh, right..." he grinned embarrassedly, taking careful notes.

"Anyway," Dino stood up, leaning against the wall as he tried to explain. "Leon, as a male chameleon, uses his powers to make everything cute around him. It operates similarly to how his dying will bullet affects the environment, but with the idea of attracting as many females to him as possible. The mating urges only come once a decade to them, so the effects are incredibly drastic, to help ensure each lizard finds a mate in time."

"Ah!" Yamamoto's eye lit up. "And girls think babies are cute, so the first person shot became a baby?"

"Exactly," Dino nodded.

"But then, this guy..." Gokudera jerked his thumb towards Mukuro, sneering. "How is he cute? He looks the same as always!" he pronounced 'cute' like it was a curse word.

"Ah, I do believe I can help clear that out for you, Gokudera-kun," Mukuro smiled closely into his face, violating Gokudera's personal space and making the hair on the back of his neck stand up.

"G-get away from me! Freak!"

"Kufufufufu~ As you wish." He sat back down.  
I have been shot by the young master," he smiled warmly at Reborn, "and have since become your butler."

A small silence filled the room. A silence filed with questions, confusion, awkwardness, and a butler.

"Um, what?" Tsuna looked at the man who had once nearly killed him, realising he _did_ look like a butler. Mukuro was clothed in a shimmering suit of exquisite material, his shoes were polished more then one of Reborn's guns, and his tie was crooked in a way that showed off his chest just a little. Now that he took the time to notice his clothes, Tsuna realised the navy-haired man was the spitting image of a butler for a prestigious family.

"But, why a butler?" he scratched his head as he wondered. "The word 'moe' means cute, right?"

"Not quite, Tsuna. That's where this gets ugly," Dino crossed his arms, expression serious. "Moe can also apply to fetishes, like liking girls with glasses." He paused for a moment. "Or so I've heard, anyway!" Tsuna felt sweat run down the back of his head as Dino coughed violently.

"Anyway... since Leon is as perverse and insane as his master, most of the time the Dying Moe Bullet from him results in incredibly strange side-effects, including some things you would never think are attractive to people."

"It can't be that serious," Yamamoto grinned. "A lot of girls at school like guys in a suit, so this butler thing seems pretty normal." Tsuna suddenly remembered how popular the star baseballer was, and that he actually spoke to the girls at school- that was something he would never get used to.

"Trust me, it gets worse," Dino looked away, a gloomy expression under his mop of blonde. The young Vongola Decimo looked from Reborn's even-more-satisfied grin to the shuddering Dino, mind suddenly clicking.

"Last time this happened... a decade ago. You were shot, weren't you Dino-san?"

"..!" Dino looked up, expression mortified. "What makes you say that?"

"You were training under Reborn ten years ago, right? And well, you seem to know all about this moe bullet, and seem really scared of what happens... what did the bullet do to you?"

"Probably the same it would do to you," Reborn's grin widened.

"NOTHING," he insisted.

Tsuna wasn't sure to laugh or worry even more at their reactions. Sighing, he held his head in his hands. Would Leon have to shoot them all, as part of his mating season? Or was there a way to stop it?

"Wait, how long does this last?"

"It varies. Usually a week, but you can be... stuck... that way for two weeks, even." Dino gulped bitterly as he talked; this was really ominous. "And depending how strong the urges are, Leon might have to shoot someone every few days."

"Every few days!" Gokudera sat straighter, biting his lip. "But I'm the Tenth's right hand-man! I'm sure to be hit next!"

"I think that would be better, to be honest." Dino looked down at him, eyes grave. "Think for a moment what your boss is like. If he gets shot with that bullet, there's no telling what could happen." The silver-haired teen gulped for a moment, mind whirling.

"No way am I getting hit with such a pansy piece of crap!"

"Look at Tsuna! As his Storm Guardian, do you think it would be safe for someone like _him_ to get shot with a bullet that makes you weak and cute? _Seriously_?"

"..." Gokudera sighed, hating the truth. "This conversation is sounding really gay, you know..." he mumbled, looking away. "But I guess we can't let him get shot, as our boss. You hear that, baseball freak?" Yamamoto looked back at him, a mischievous light in his eyes.

"Actually, I was hoping to shoot Reborn here. I think that'd be pretty funny!" Reborn looked up sharply at him.

"No one fires Leon's bullets except for me," he spoke more seriously then he had when talking about Byakuran. It was almost like he was _daring_ Yamamoto to try it.

"Well, I might not be able to play baseball if I was shot with this, so I'll do my best back," the taller guy grinned competitively. _Everything is a game to him, huh..._ Tsuna thought. Still, he would much rather they use those dreaded bullets on each other then him; this could be really embarrassing, from the way Dino had said 'fetishes'.

"Ah, come down from there young master, please. We wouldn't want anything to _hurt_ you now, would we?" He looked up to see the suited Mukuro trying to coax a still-not-scared-at-all Hibari off the stairs, into his arms. The pouting Cloud Guardian merely glared away, pretending he didn't exist, as he scooted further up another step.

"All will be fine, for my only wish is to serve under you. _I promise_." Mukuro bowed graciously, holding out a white-gloved hand. His finger was bitten, tentatively, before the infant turned and waddled further away, 'hiding' behind the stair railing.

_It changed Hibari-san's body, but it looks like it changed Mukruo-san's personality more then anything. How was that possible?_

"Simple," Reborn addressed him. Tsuna didn't realise he'd been speaking out loud, but the hitman did have a habit of answering his thoughts directly. "Mukuro is not cute when he's kidnapping people, fighting and drinking blood, right?"

"Has- has he ever done that last one?"

"But if he's graciously offering to help someone, then his natural charm shines through a lot better, right?"

"Reborn-san! Answer me!"

"I suppose you didn't notice, but his clothes changed as well. I don't know the full extent of Leon's power myself, but he was able to spin threads that made you those suits resistant to Dying Will Flames, so it seems likely that he could create clothes for people."

"He did once," Dino interjected. "That bullet made one of my best friends cross-dress for a week, if you remember."

"I don't at all," Reborn said innocently.

"He was wearing puffy dresses and weird gothic Lolita outfits, even when he tried to change for bed!"

"Dino... this sounds like a really bad time for you."

"One of the worst experiences of my childhood. All because he couldn't control that lizard," his face started to go pink as he talked. "And as long as Leon is producing those bullets, you'll have to use them, or else the results will be worse. Trust me on that."

"Um, okay..." the brunet felt his head spin. "Seriously, what did it do to you?"

"I wasn't shot!" The Cavalone boss's voice went up several octaves as he looked away. The room fell silent for a moment. Tsuna finally felt like he knew what was going on- Reborn had been testing to see if it really was Leon's time again, when he shot Hibari. It made sense, since that guy was one of the only people he knew who could take a real bullet with no problem, if it hadn't been the little green lizards time.

"So, um, where did you get Mukuro-san? And why him, of all people?"

"I thought it would be good for you to see him again, and bond under better terms," replied the baby, poker face intact.  
"Are you kidding! But, what happens when it wears off? And how did you break him out of prison in such a short time?"

"The details aren't important," shrugged Reborn.

"We barely got home from school! There's no way you could have busted him out in that time!"

"Like I said, details."

"Anyway, I need to go," Dino said, stretching against the wall.

"Already? You can stay for dinner, or something," Tsuna babbled. He felt so much safer with the blonde around.

"No, I need to stay away from that lizard, and Reborn," he grimaced. "I'll be working on a cure though, I think we just need to find a girl chameleon for him to speed the process up."

"That makes sense... but where would you find another shape-shifting lizard?" Tsuna scratched his head, as he walked Dino out into the now-dark night sky.

"Well, they seemed pretty popular among other mafia familles, although they're nearly extinct now. So far I've only been able to track down one other family that might still have a lizard of their own. You'll have to ask them if we could borrow their lizard, for the duration of the mating season."

"Really?" As much as he hated meeting more mafia families, this could be good. They could be free of this whole mess tomorrow!

"Yep. You already know the family too, Tsuna," Dino smiled properly for the first time that day.

"Really? Who?"

"Shimon."

-to be continued-

* * *

Chapter written while wearing: my Mist Ring seemed fitting, of course.

SO MUCH TALKING. I'm kind of worried about Mukuro's OOC-ness, please let me know how I'm going... I promise to shoot more people- and show more of Hibari and Mukuro- in the next chapter, so stick around if you like~

I happily take suggestions, but most of the characters are already planned out for the bullet. Thanks for reading!


	4. Thank you My teens

**Kichou**: Wow, first review every time XD Don't worry, Tsuna takes care of his family, as I'm sure you'll see.

**VirguleAddict**: You're too kind, really. Actually, that never crossed my mind at all for Dino, I'm sorry to say O.o How did I not think of the bondage/whip thing? Don't worry, what I have planned should be just as good *grins evilly* Hint: Reborn thinks it'll be the same as what'll happen to Tsuna.

**Yuki-chan99**: Thankyou, I'll try.

**ezcap1st**: You can't? Well, I hope you laugh more as I go, I want all of the bullets to be funny as well as cute.

**SniperKingSogeking0341**: Hahaha~ I'm still deciding for Gokudera, I have two ideas to choose from. It's not exactly a fetish, this plan... well, I really hope it isn't XD

**Black** **maid56**: Baby Hibari would be scared, to my mind. Mukuro has a kind of 'pedo' vibe to him, don'tcha think? As for who's next... not telling!

**Chocolate Fax Machine**: Thanks! I hope I continue to surprise people.

**skitty-nya**: Thankyou! I hope you like this chapter as well~

**orangesky3** and **Lulu-ichigo** are totally right, I was thinking of Kuroshitsuji the whole time for Mukuro. He's so similar to Sebastian, I just had to do it! (Even if the actual Kuroshitsuji series isn't really my thing) Give yourselves a pat on the back girls~ (all of my readers here _are_ girls, right? I just kinda assume so by now...)

* * *

Darkness. Comfort. Silence. Tsuna rolled over in his bed slowly, stretching, at peace with the world. Lying in bed in the morning sure felt good, normally he'd get rudely woken up by Reborn or-

"Hey!"

"Oof!" Tsuna felt a sudden weight as a curly-haired boy landed on his chest, jumping up and down excitedly. "Cut it out, what is it?" he groaned tiredly. It was too early in the morning to try and discipline the cow.

"Guess what?" Lambo turned his head towards Tsuna, wriggling his backside up and down. "Lambo-san has been shot by the moe bullet," he grinned.

"No you haven't." Tsuna rolled back to try and sleep, ignoring him.

"Yes he has!" the thunder guardian insisted. "Lambo-san is the cutest kid in the whole wide world, so he must've already been shot," he gloated.

"Don't believe everything Mama says," Tsuna snapped, wishing he would bother someone else. He felt a little like he was in Dying Will mode, just from nerves. This past weekend had been stressful- even by his standards- ever since Dino came by on Saturday night and dropped the news.

Where to begin? Opening one eye, he saw Hibari was still asleep in his cot, by the foot of Tsuna's bed. The dark-haired boy was curled up perfectly still, expression serious even as he slept. At some point in the night Hibird had found him, and was currently under one arm also asleep.

Tsuna had had a horrible time trying to get to sleep, constantly worried the regular teenage Hibari would poof back to normal size in the night and kill him. But the baby had insisted on sleeping in Tsuna's room, for some reason.

"But it's cramped, and I'm sure you'd be more comfortable with Mama nearby, right?" he'd stuttered.

"Your room is upstairs, and less cwowded," the baby had pointed out. "Also, you're the only one with a night-light."

Which left one important question: _how did he know that?_

Tsuna took a deep breath, turning away from the cot, trying to get back to sleep. It was too early to stress out; he wanted to just lie here a little longer. The short boy stretched, hearing a thump as Lambo ran off in another room, leaving him in peace. Everything was silent...

Too silent.

He cracked his eyes open to see the grinning face of Mukuro inches away from him, crouched over his bed.

"Hiiiieeee~!" Tsuna shrieked, flinching backwards as sheets fell to the ground.

"Is something wrong? You looked _so_ peaceful just a minute ago." The navy-haired man bowed slightly in apology, eyes twinkling.

"What are you doing over my bed!" Tsuna screamed, before the second Mist guardian leaned closer, their faces now an inch apart. The brunet felt a gloved hand press down hard over his mouth as heterochromatic eyes loomed closer, filling his field of vision. Was this how it all ended?

"Hush. You'll wake the little one if you yell so loudly in the morning," Mukuro cautioned him, releasing his mouth. The boy sat in his bed, staring blankly forward, shivering. Was there _anything_ that guy could do that wasn't insanely creepy? Surely he didn't need to clamp down on Tsuna's mouth just to quiet him a little?

"To answer your question," the suit-clad butler briskly strode over to the curtains, pulling the drapes apart so a flash of light blinded Tsuna for a moment. God, how he dreaded having his eyes shut near the man. "I am here to wake you up, master Tsunayoshi. You need to go to school today, do you not?"

"Um, yeah, I do," Tsuna rolled out of bed, putting some distance between the two. "You're not, um, going with me? To school, I mean?" he stammered.

"Naturally, I cannot." Tsuna's sigh of relief was audible. "I will stay at home to look after your dearest mother, in case something were to... _happen to her _in your absence."

"Hiiiiiieeeeee~!"

And so started Tsuna's Monday morning.

* * *

Ever since the fateful Saturday that Mukuro had waltzed into Tsuna's living room with Reborn atop his shoulder, both him and the infant Hibari had been living at Tsuna's house. As one would expect, it had been a nightmarish weekend, and had convinced Tsuna to never, ever, hire a butler. Or have a child. Some would say that was extreme, but he would tell them they hadn't experienced a grown man coming in the bathroom to grab his dirty clothes _while he was in the tub_.

Or seen someone that looked two years old tame and near-cripple the neighbour's Rottweiler with only his tiny fists and one word ('kamikorosu'), all because it had barked.

As Tsuna contemplated this, and what he had done wrong in a former life to deserve it all, he was eating his morning cereal. He'd given up refusing, and was currently being fed by the man with a devilish grin, Rokudo Mukuro, who insisted on wiping his chin for him when he got some milk on it. It was uncomfortable, to say the least.

Mukuro's new persona _appeared_ helpful, but the Vongola Decimo was beginning to realise that his usual self wasn't far from the surface. He knew he was being too helpful for Tsuna's liking (most of the street knew, from his yells and constant shrieks), but the man simply shrugged and continued 'assisting' him, scaring Tsuna even more.

He still didn't care about or consider other people's feelings important at all, only helping people as a butler when he felt it proper, happily ignoring Tsuna when he _actually_ needed help opening a jar (which Bianchi had opened without a hitch, to his shame).

Fortunately he'd stepped out after the second time Tsuna told him he could get dressed by himself, thanks-but-no-thanks. He was sure that one had been a joke on Mukuro's part. Hadn't it?

Done with his breakfast, the spiky-haired brunet wondered what he could do about Hibari. Would he be happier at Nanimori School? He didn't seem to want to stray far from Tsuna, and if he reverted back to normal at home the place would get destroyed for sure. Not just if he remembered what he'd been doing (according to Dino certain people shot by the moe bullet remembered their situation, while others didn't), but the moment he saw Mukuro all hell was sure to fly.

"H-Hibari-san, do you want to go to school today?"

"Of course," he replied instantly, turning away from his glaring match with Lambo across the table, who had been about to cry. "It's a school day, isn't it?" Tsuna stared back at him. That was more words then Hibari would have said, but he was still acting like he was the regular old Hibari... did he have all of his memories from being a teenager?

"Um, Hibari-san... do you remember Kusakabe-san?"

"Of course. The man with the funny hair," Hibari replied, eyes closed in a happy daze. "He's not as useless as the others."

_That... kind of sums him up, I guess..._ Tsuna felt a wave of emotion for the subordinate.

"So, um, are you going to attend class, like you are?" Tsuna had never had a class with the raven-haired hammer of order, but he was sure someone would notice if he was a toddler.

"I don' take classes, silly. I'm the head of the Nanimori Middle Disciplinary Committee."

"Um, what? You still take classes, don't you?" Hibari lifted himself from his chair, waddling off as if they were done.

_Well, that cleared that up..._

Tsuna found himself lifting the boy and carrying him back to his room, where the two of them had their clothes.

"Change," the baby Kyoya demanded.

"Mum!" Tsuna instantly hollered.

"I could change the little one, if you insist-"

"Mukuro, p-please get out!"

"It's really no trouble at all-"

"MUKURO!"

* * *

Tsuna's arms hurt. Carrying the baby Hibari was heavier work then he realised. That or he somehow had even less upper-body strength then he realised, which was probably impossible.

He was currently cradling Hibari as he walked to school, finally ready. Reborn was still at home, as far as he knew. This was rare, but Tsuna was grateful. His Mama was home, and there was no telling what could happen to her around the illusionist. What was supposed to have turned him cute had only, to his male mind, made an already powerful illusionist who had been to hell six times now schizophrenic and put him in a tux, which wasn't exactly much of a step up.

Plus, waking up to the sound of a 'Kufufufu' was mildly terrifying.

His complaints/thoughts were interrupted when Tsuna spied a slight boy with scarlet hair, currently looking down mournfully.

"Oh, Enma-kun!" The brunet greeted him happily, glad to have found someone from Shimon so quickly.

"..."

"Enma-kun, what's wrong?"

Tsuna tilted his head, noticing what the teen was holding. A two-thousand Yen note, with a chunk missing from the centre.

"What happened?"

"A caterpillar was in my wallet... This was all the money I had for lunch today," Enma murmured.

"That's... really unfortunate!" Tsuna felt sweat run down the back of his neck. That was one thing that had never happened to him; this guy was a magnet for misfortune, as always.

"Um, I'll treat you, as long as it's not too dear," he offered.

"I couldn't," the sad-eyed Shimon leader muttered, walking in stride with Tsuna as they headed to school. Interpreting his curious gaze correctly, Tsuna explained about the groggy baby in his arms. Hibari was practically narcoleptic as a child, Tsuna had found, and was already half-asleep in the morning. That conversation led to an explanation of Mukuro, and Leon's insane mating season.

There was a mutual silence as they pitied each other respectfully, before Tsuna spoke up.

"Oh, how did I forget! We were just talking about it!" Enma looked at him curiously, listening.

"Right, well Dino-san mentioned a female shape-shifting lizard would be able to help control Leon, and that your family had one. Could we please borrow her?" Tsuna held his hands together in a begging motion.

"...I've never heard of them until today."

"WHAT?"

"No, I do believe you after all I've seen, but I've never seen anyone in my family with any lizard. Especially a shape-shifting kind. Sorry."

Tsuna halted at the school gates, looking at his friend in confusion. Was Dino's information wrong? Enma wasn't the kind of person to lie, but this didn't make sense...

Tsuna pulled at his hair with his free hand.

"Then what am I going to do now?" Without that female lizard, more people would get shot... could he cope with that? Where on Earth had Shimon's lizard gone, if they ever had one?

* * *

Chapter written while wearing: the Lightning ring~

Sorry about the wait, the holiday season (read: new games) messed with my writing time. I'll shoot someone in the next chapter though, so it's not all bad news~

* * *

**Contest time!** For whoever gets the 50th review, I'll give you a short request oneshot, or let you know something ahead in this fic (like who will be shot next).

Also, can anyone guess my chapter naming sense? The first person to do so correctly gets to decide something ahead in this fic, or get a request taken into consideration, along the lines of 'shoot Xanxus' or 'don't let Yamamoto be shot', or something else. Both prizes will be sorted out in messages, please don't be too greedy, etc etc.

Note: Midirin, you can't enter either of the comps. Not because you're my beta, but because you're a forgetful sod who doesn't remember to thank people (thanks for beta-ing this anyway XP).


	5. Winding Road

Review wall:

**I-Kill-U-For-Yaoi**: Haha, that's very threatening (I think?). Hope this is soon enough~ **Kichou**: Both of your questions will be answered this chapter, as it turns out~ :O You lost your '1st' reviewer status, by one review! Wonder who'll get it this time? **SniperKingSogeking0341**: Thanks for the regular reviews~ Don't worry, Enma'll have some luck, soon if I have any kind of say in the matter (I really ought to). **Black maid56**: Thanks~ I never got the fans who wanted to date/etc with Mukuro, he always seemed kinda creepy to me... a definite pervert or something. Still, that's just my opinion. **iEXIST**: Too lazy to log in, yet you wrote the longest review XD That's no offence at all, I love constructive criticism. Odd, since I thought I rushed that last chapter at 3am, but there you go. Good idea for Lambo, but you'll have to wait and see~ **UnrelentingNightmare**: You were second, sorry~ I already have Yamamoto planned, fear not. **expletive deleted**: Wow, thanks! This review had me grinning every time I thought of it, I'll try my best to deserve such awesome praise in the future. **Akari Neko-chan**: That was the idea XD I'll do my best, thanks. **Lulu-ichigo**: Hm... Think you can guess anything else? I'd like to see anyone guess what Dino's traumatizing bullet from 10 years ago was, from the few hints I've sprinkled in the 3rd chapter. Hope this is soon enough for you~ **ezcap1st**: DING DING DING! Yup, you're spot on! Drop me a message if there's anything you'd like to see, a request or to know somethin' in advance for this fic, and we'll sort out your prize~ Baby Hibari's not as good at hiding his emotions, especially his fears. That wasn't planned, but it seemed like a natural way for such a private, closed person to start off, I think.

* * *

"Wow, he's heavier then you expect, huh?" Tetsuya Kusakabe- the Disciplinary Committee Vice Chairman and favourite whipping boy of Hibari- lifted the baby into the air. A relived Tsuna stretched back, glad to be free for a moment. Tsuna relaxed in the near-empty classroom for a moment, looking out the window absently.

"Excuse me, Kusakabe-san, but you don't seem very surprised, even before I explained all of this...," Tsuna shrugged, puzzled by the student's behaviour. Kusuakabe grinned back.

"Anything can happen to the Disciplinary Committee; my job is to make sure it doesn't affect our duties."

The man with the pompadour in front of him seemed... naïve about this. It was difficult to imagine Hibari explaining the future battles (_or talking to Kusakabe at all_), but he must know something of their regular adventures. That or he placed a level of faith and belief in Hibari that made Yamamoto look sceptical, Tsuna thought.

"So... you know that's the actual Hibari?"

"Yep, sure do."

"Okay, um, thanks for lookin' after him. I'll see you when school's over, if that's alright." Tsuna bowed slightly to the man, as the morning bell ringed across the school. He'd gotten here early, but he was still going to be late to homeroom. Again.

"Keep an eye out for when he transforms back!" The brunet called out, turning at the doorway. "Um, Hibari-san might transform any time, w-we don't know when, so d-don't hold him too... how does he do that?" Tsuna's nerve failed him, and he simply had to ask. It was amazingly difficult to ignore the sight of the infant Hibari chewing on Kusakabe's hair, _his entire pompadour in the boy's mouth_.

"He's got jaws of steel, huh?" Kusakabe began to laugh, walking over to his desk with his hands down by his sides. Tsuna gulped. _Hibari was now hanging from his hair_. "It might be nice to see what the Chief was like as a kid though, I could get some real rest around here for once." Tsuna agreed with him mentally, nodding. He'd been careful not to actually say anything against Hibari out loud this weekend, on the chance Hibari would remember when he returned to normal and violently begin to tutor him, Reborn-style.

He left the Disciplinary Committee Room, itself just an empty classroom with a large desk. He could still faintly hear the second-in-command ("You're a chubby little one aren't you?") along with the now-all-too familiar sounds of little teeth grinding through a person's finger.

Nanimori Middle School had become a regular haven for Tsuna as of late. Since Reborn's arrival in his life, school had changed from a dreaded, mocking place to somewhere safe he could freely escape the mafia world. You could say his tutor had helped him improve his attitude and attendance towards school, in a way. After recent events, Tsuna was looking forward to joining Yamamoto in blissful sleep during maths even more then usual.

* * *

Bleary caramel eyes opened, blinking slowly. Tsuna hurriedly wiped drool off his chin, waking up from his desk. Wow. He'd slept until lunch started without being noticed... There were some advantages to being short and unnoticed, he reasoned.

"Tenth, you're up!" Gokudera beamed at him from the neighbouring seat, pulling out a notebook. "I wanted to tell you earlier, I managed to get some details about Leon's mating season."

"Details?" He blinked, still waking up.

"Yeah, Reborn was as tight-lipped as ever. He must be trying to test how well we figure things out on our own, so I made some calls." Tsuna couldn't help but wonder about Gokudera sometimes.

"Haha, you're just worried you'll be shot next, right?" Yamamoto grinned as he spoke, turning in his seat to face the two. Tsuna took an offered sushi roll gratefully, listening as the silver-haired teen rattled off his discoveries.

"Each bullet lasts from thee days to two weeks, and there's no way of testing beforehand. So the effects can't last that long."

"Right... still, two weeks as a baby would be a problem," Tsuna commented, pulling out his own bento.

"Yeah, and we could be shot before the next person recovers," the silver-haired teen agreed, expression dark.

"See, a bullet will be produced every five to seven days, so we could get shot faster then the next person to get back to normal."

"Why do you keep saying _us_? Couldn't anyone or anything get shot?" Yamamoto pointed out, cheering up Tsuna's hopes for a brief moment, before Gokudera shook his head.

"Apparently Leon shoots these bullets out to find a female lizard, attracted to cute things," Gokudera began, eyes shining. "But it can't affect the environment, or places. The hormones only get released- and work- if a _person_ is shot."

"Why's that?" Yamamoto chirped.

"It's like how birds leave feathers all over the place; to advertise they're there for mating. If people all over a town are cute, the female lizard's going to head deeper into the town to find the male lizard." He began to move his hands as he spoke, gesturing for emphasis. Tsuna knew Gokudera was fascinated by aliens and U.M.A.'s (Unidentified Mysterious Animals), and the shape-shifting chameleon must have really interested him this time.

"...Once shot, someone moving around for the lizard covers way more ground then shooting a rock or tree would, and spreads their scent better," he continued. "So Leon's only going to be able to shoot humans, and will only shoot people he's had semi-regular contact with before, to ensure the scent leads back to him better. That means we're first in line."

"Wait, all over town?" Tsuna's voice rose an octave, still caught on his earlier statement. "How many bullets will Leon shoot out?"

"Er, Dino didn't tell me that much," Gokudera admitted, expression as sheepish as Haru's when she was in a lamb costume the other week. "It could last ages though, the way he was goin' on about it."

"So your 'fact-finding' was calling Dino-san and asking questions?" Yamamoto pointed out, annoying the Storm Guardian.

"Baseball idiot! At least I'm trying to help out the family here! What have you done?"

"I already said, didn't I?" Yamamoto's expression turned more serious, leaning in towards the two.

"I'm going to shoot Reborn with one of those Moe bullets and see what happens."

Gokudera snorted derisively, picking at his food as he ignored the statement.

"Any reason?" Tsuna asked, intrigued despite himself. The taller boy laughed casually, finishing his food before answering.

"I think it'd be fun to try the challenge, for one. He's a lot stronger then he looks."

"That's true."

"And it might save us from being shot, I reckon. If he wasn't able to grab the little green guy as our butler, we could choose who got shot next as well, y'know?"

Tsuna smiled, enjoying this idea. Yamamoto wasn't just bragging randomly- he was actually going to try and do it, it seemed. He remembered the easy-going swordsman had trained under Reborn in the future world- him challenging the Arcobaleno to a rematch of sorts seemed perfectly normal, now that he thought about it. More then anything, he envied Yamamoto for his healthy student-teacher relationship with Reborn right then.

"Plus, I'm just curious what'll it do," he admitted. "He's already a baby, after all. Oh! Do you think he was once shot with like, a Super Moe Bullet?" Gokudera retorted, calling him an idiot once again as Tsuna laughed. He was never sure if Yamamoto said things like that as jokes, or seriously believed them half the time.

He looked up from the pair to see a dangerous scarlet glare directed at him. Eep. Adelheid Suzuki, the most active (and one of the scariest) members of the Shimon Famiglia was currently at the doorway. Gulping, the brunet stumbled out to the hall, excusing himself. With one last look at the room of students happily chatting and eating, he closed the door to find himself alone with the towering girl.

Extremely tall for a girl her age (_or anyone in the island nation of Japan, for that matter_), Adelheid boasted dark hair, an attitude that matched Hiabri's, and a chest that quite frankly, scared Tsuna.

"Erm, you wanted to talk to me?" he enquired, eyes down.

"Sawada," addressed the woman. "You asked Enma about a shape-shifting lizard earlier, did you not?"

"Oh, yeah!" Tsuna perked up (much like something else in the room), a relieved look on his features. He'd thought he was in trouble for something. "Do you know anything about a lizard in the family? Enma-kun said he didn't, but maybe-"

"Never bring up the subject again." Adelheid left him dumbfounded, mouth agape.

"But, we really need to find a-"

"I said never bring up the subject again. Enma is not to find out about these lizards, especially any possibility one is in his family," the dark-haired woman declared, frowning down at him. "Stay quiet on the subject and I can repair the damage you have done. That is all." And just like that she turned on her heel, striding away from a shocked Tsuna without waiting for his reply.

What did this mean? Tsuna pulled at his hair, despairing. Adelheid definitely knew something about a shape-shifting lizard in the Shimon family, it seemed- but she was trying to keep it secret from Enma? Why would she need to do that? And more importantly, his only chance at ending this today before it got out of hand (read: he was shot himself) was now walking away with her head held high.

Eyes clenched shut, Tsuna found himself acting on impulse.

"Wait!" he yelled, stopping her. The head of the Liquidation Committee turned, giving him a second. "I... my family **needs** that lizard!" the Vongola heir yelled, shivering as he realised who he was raising his voice to.

"Please, at least talk about it with us and reconsider!" He held his hands up in a begging motion.

"Why should I?" the dark-haired girl gazed expressionlessly.

"If you don't I'll, I'll tell Enma as much as I can about these lizards and even shoot him with the Moe Bullet!" Gasping, Tsuna covered his mouth, shocked at the threat that he'd just issued.

Adelheid was still for a moment, as if considering his ultimatum. She muttered something that might have been 'Moe bullet, huh?', before turning and continuing down the hallway.

"Meet me at the park near Nanimori Middle School at 6pm sharp tonight, Sawada," she called out from her back. Tsuna nearly collapsed, relief flooding through his body. "Bring your guardians with you, and make sure not a word of this goes near Enma's ears. That is all."

Tsuna'd done it... he might have a shot at getting Leon a girlfriend (and curing them) after all. He went in to hurriedly tell Gokudera and Yamamoto the good news, knees still shaking.

* * *

A boy with short white hair and a band-aid over his nose frowned, eyes down in deep concentration.

"I don't get it!"

"Geez, how simple are you?" Gokudera snapped back impatiently. "Listen, Leon is horny, and wants a girlfriend. Got it?" Ryohei crossed his arms, contemplating this.

"A-huh."

"And girls like cute things, right?"

"Right!" Ryohei nodded.

"So Leon makes people near him cute, and the babe lizards all come to Nanimori."

"Okay..."

"Then, he get's the girl lizard. So that's why he's shooting us."

"... I don't get it at all!" Ryohei, the Vongola's Sun Guardian, bashed his head into a nearby lamp-post in frustration.

"How dense are you!" Gokudera roared back.

"How can it make a man cute? You're talking extreme nonsense!" Ryohei countered.

"Ah, it sure is nice when they get along, isn't it?" Yamamoto grinned at Tsuna, who didn't respond. Tsuna and the others were currently waiting by the park, a few minutes earlier then Adeheid had specified. His thoughts were still back at the end of school, when they'd passed Enma on the way out.

The redhead had looked towards Tsuna, asking in a few short sentences if he wanted to help him study later that night. His family all had plans, and he needed the help, he'd explained. Tsuna had gulped, regretfully asking if he could help out some other time instead, saying he was 'busy with stuff'. It must have looked like he was just ignoring the guy; Tsuna felt pretty guilty about how that had gone down.

"...Tsuna? You think we should say something?" Tsuna blinked, suddenly realising the baseball player was trying to talk to him. He followed Yamamoto's gaze, realising Mukuro was meeting Chrome for the first time since being shot, as well as one of the only times they'd seen each other in person.

"Are you sure there is nothing you would like? Are Ken and Chikusa bothering you?" Mukuro graciously offered, down on one knee in front of the girl.

"No, they're fine, really!" Chrome waved her hands, blushing at the man's sudden attention.

"Are you sure? You seem nervous. You can tell me; is it Ken? Should I kill Ken?"

"No, I'm okay...," Chrome muttered softly, unheard as Mukuro began examining her for signs of malnutrition.

"Well, he's not hurting her, I think they're good...," Tsuna remarked, unsure what to do. They'd explained the Moe Bullet earlier for the others, and Chrome had taken it much easier then Ryohei had, nodding and playing with baby Hibari unconcernedly. Currently the eight of them were waiting; Tsuna and his guardians had taken a corner of the park with a bench by a flower bed, lit by a row of lamps in the dusk. It was quite tonight, and not a soul had passed them by.

Hibari had continued to trust everyone besides Gokudera and Mukuro, even permitting Ryohei to lift him as a weight for a few minutes (_was Hibari really that heavy?_), calling them all herbivores. It seemed he was still a baby, but at least he hadn't killed Kusuakabe.

Tsuna slumped back in his seat, wondering if Adelheid would bring their lizard, if they really did have one. Reborn was still at home, and hadn't been told of the meeting. Chances were he already knew, seeing how he read Tsuna's thoughts (_why did no one ever believe him about that?_), but the hitman said nothing on the subject.

"Oh, there they are!" Tsuna stood up from the bench, watching the allied family approach. Alongside him Yamamoto and Gokudera stood, carrying the babies Hibari and Lambo respectively (or to be accurate, Lambo was riding Gokudera's shoulder against his will). Chrome and Ryohei joined them, followed by a subservient Mukuro.

Tsuna noted only four scarlet pairs of eyes headed their way- where was the rest of Shimon? He'd expected Enma to be missing, but who else was absent?

"Shitt P is busy meditating, and Julie claimed he had errands to run at the shops," Adelheid explained, interpreting his gaze correctly.

"You mean stalking girls again, don't you?" Aoba snorted, nose up in disgust. Ryohei seemed to stand taller now that the fellow boxer was present, Tsuna noticed.

Also behind Adelheid were the two big guys, Rauji and the scary-looking Kaoru, if he'd got their names right. The two families stood face-to-face for a moment, as if sizing each other up.

"So, Sawada, you had something to ask?"

"Oh, right!" Tsuna stammered, realising Adelheid was waiting for him to speak.

"My family need your help, and require a shape-shifting lizard. Erm, a female one," he bowed deeply as he spoke, trying to be as polite as possible. Raised eyebrows and sceptical looks went in his direction, Rauji chuckling.

"The Tenth's not joking, and I know one of you has it!" Gokudera spoke up earnestly, as Tsuna tried to look Adelheid in the eye. Contrasted with the tall girl's razor-sharp glare, the brunet found he was unable to look in her direction at all; it was like trying to get two negatively attracted magnets to face each other. Adelheid's large... 'hair'... was very distracting to face.

"You still haven't given up yet?" A look of irritation crossed her features, aimed solely at Tsuna. "Things aren't as simple as you make them out to be Sawada, but yes I do own one of the infamous shape-shifting lizards spoken about in Mafia myths." As she spoke a small purple lizard curled up from under her shirt, resting on the crack of her cleavage. Blushes and awkward coughs came from the men of the Vongola family- Gokudera's afore-mentioned plan of pinning down Shimon and taking the lizard by force was suddenly remembered in a completely different light.

"Listen well, Vongola." Adelheid stepped forward, amber light playing across her features, putting her face in shadow. "There is no guarantee your lizard would like or accept Claire, and there is an incredibly small chance she would settle for any lizard _you_ managed to raise." Tsuna's face reddened- he hadn't even considered Leon's personal tastes in this, he'd just been wondering how to save himself from being shot.

"B-But, it's still worth introducing them, right? He might-"

"Furthermore," Adelheid continued as if she were uninterrupted, "we at Shimon have our own matters that take priority. Did you think only the male lizards emitted a bullet for mating purposes?" Tsuna gulped as the implications of this were made clear, the small lavender lizard transforming into a handgun.

Before anyone had the chance to react Adelheid had turned and fired, Chrome disappearing in an explosion of smoke.

"Chrome-chan!"

"What did she just do?"

"Chrome!"

"Male lizard's search for females with cute things, correct?" Adelheid's voice carried through the smoke clearly, as Tsuna strained to see what had happened.

"With that in mind, it should be obvious that female lizards search with a completely different type of effect- one that appeals to males." Tsuna's eyes widened when the smoke cleared, a deep blush burning through his cheeks.

Chrome was bigger then she'd been before. Her hips, her legs, her curves- there was only one word he could think of to describe it.

"The Sexy Bullet," Adelheid announced, as Chrome looked down, blushing and squirming as she realised what had happened. Her bust was now much bigger, her legs taller, and it was likely her bottom had been affected under her skirt as well. She barely fit in her Kokuyo school uniform anymore, and was currently redder then Tsuna, if that was possible.

"Why... why me?" she squeaked, looking down. Yamamoto- the tallest one there- offered his jacket to cover her better, which she accepted gratefully.

"I thought it would stick in their minds better then if I shot one of the males," Adelheid replied casually, as if nothing had happened.

"So it only works on girls?" Tsuna asked, beginning to understand.

"Not at all." The head of the liquidation committee turned her revolver on Tsuna, aiming right for him. "Both bullets work on either gender. Would you like me to prove it?"

"N-n-n-no, that's fine!" Tsuna shrieked, hiding behind Ryohei and Mukuro.

"As you see, there is more to this mating season then you follow, Sawada. I have my own reasons for keeping this from my Boss; it's for his own good, understand?" Tsuna nodded dumbly, not comprehending her at all.

"As I'm sure you'll come to realize, both bullets have additional uses beyond mate attraction, and I must have access to one of these bullets when the time demands it. For the time being, Claire shall not mate with any male lizard. That is final." Adelheid Suzuki turned on her heel, leading her trio of guardians away with her.

"Hopefully with all of your guardians present, there will be no need for me to repeat myself again," she called out, talking even as she left again, dismissing Tsuna completely. "You will have to find another lizard if you truly wish to end your chameleon's mating season early. In the meantime, I will shoot more of your family if you breathe a single word of this to Enma. That is all." She then left, ignoring her companions as they began to ask for the lizard for themselves.

Tsuna could only stare blankly forward, mind completely dead.

"So, a Sexy Bullet, eh?" Gokudera mused, a far-away look in his eyes.

"Mother," Hibari muttered, leaping out of Yamamoto's arms as he began clinging to Chrome, who squealed as she began to blush even harder.

"I find you most... undesirable, Chrome," Mukuro said frankly, looking eye-to-eye with her now.

"What? Mukuro-sama, do you mean that?"

"You looked... younger before. Such a pity," he shook his head disdainfully, wandering past the bushes as he shrugged. Single violet eye wide in shock, the girl tottered after him unsteadily as her legs moved farther then before, Hibari attempting to follow.

"Hahahaha! It never gets boring, does it?" Yamamoto grinned as he spoke to Tsuna, who could only nod. "So she has at least one other bullet on her right now? I wonder who she plans to shoot?"

"Lambo-san, of course! He's already been shot with the sexy bullet, so it'll be twice as great!" the infant cow declared, fooling- and listened by- absolutely no one. Ryohei left the park first, complaining his head hurt trying to follow all of this. The rest of the group made their way back to Tsuna's house, laughing and worrying about the Sexy Bullet amongst themselves.

"Um, I can't find Mukuro-sama!" Chrome appeared, stopping in front of the group as she fidgeted with the tip of her trident.

"I'm sure he'll show up soon. Reborn said he was told to live at my place, and he thinks he's a butler, so...," Tsuna shrugged, not worried for the man. Chrome seemed to make up her mind, nodding at what he said.

"Um... I'd like to see Mukuro-sama again, and I can't let Ken or Chikusa see me like this. Could I please stay at your place?" she shyly leaned forward as she begged, not noticing the rose that scattered across Tsuna's cheeks when she came near.

"Um, well, er, it's up to Mama, but she usually lets anyone stay over..."

"Oh thank you Boss!" Chrome made to hug Tsuna gratefully, pausing when she realised her chest was further out then usual, and was currently pressed against the brunet. Tightly squished, some would say. Both teenagers stared awkwardly for a moment, before panicking and flinching away.

"BOSS~!" Chrome ran a safe distance away, blushing once again.

"No, I didn't, I, er...," Tsuna gave up. Would the effect be this drastic every time someone was shot? He felt faintly guilty towards Kyoko at the back of his mind, but that was the least of his worries.

His life seemed destined to get even more chaotic- Adelheid fought back when she was pushed, and would probably continue to shoot his family out of spite at the rate his luck was going. What was the big deal with keeping her lizard? And whatever it was, it involved Enma... hopefully he would be okay. Leon could have another bullet in as little as two days, and none of the recently afflicted showed any signs of returning to normal. Belatedly, Tsuna realised on the way home that they might actually fulfil Leon's main point to firing these bullets and attract more lizards to the area, which would make the situation even worse.

With these thoughts all jostling for attention in Tsuna's mind he returned home with a heavy heart, accompanied by the rowdy group as always, all eager for dinner. And he hadn't even started his homework yet.

* * *

Written while wearing: the Sun Ring, this time around.

Extra long chapter! *hugs readers* Thanks so much for the support so far!

Tsuna stood up for himself this time, and the Sexy Bullet has been unveiled! I swear Enma is a main character, when I get around to him...

I was much more comfortable with my writing 'voice' this time, I think I've started to find a more distinctive style for this fic. Feel free to critique the crap out of this, yes? In fact, I would love it if you did that!


	6. Spiral and escape

**SniperKingSogeking0341**: Ryohei's so fun to write XD Thanks for the review, I think I had Hibari say that already at some point. **Kiseki no Tenshi**: Thanks! **Kichou**: Haha, I wonder if Tsuna would do that? Pity they don't have any more moe bullets at the moment, although the next one Leon makes should be worth waiting for. **trickyjade104**: Aww, thanks. Hopefully I can update even quicker next time~ **iEXIST**: Wow, your review was fun to read. Chrome's one of my favourite characters as well, don't worry- I'll try not to character bash or anything. It could have been worse~ Thanks for logging in, and the Varia will be making an appearance later on :D **ezcap1st**: I can't help it, I'm convinced Mukuro is a full-blown paedophile at this point XD Hope this chapter lives up to your request! **Hevimankeli**: Aw thanks~ I wanted to introduce the sexy bullet sooner actually, but it would have felt too absurd and silly to mention, had to get you guys used to the idea of a moe bullet first. **Lulu-ichigo**: Haha, that part seems weirdly popular. I didn't really plan it... maybe there's more Kusukabe fans then I realise? Good luck thinking on Dino, I'll reward you if you get it right~ **I-Kill-U-For-Yaoi**: Haha, glad to hear you liked it.

And a huge thankyou to everyone who favourited and alerted :3 You guys make my day, really!

* * *

Tsuna gulped, trying to finish his toast as quickly as possible. He was currently eating breakfast with all three of the people affected by the Moe and Sexy bullets- Hibari, Mukuro and Chrome. The morning sun was dull but already he felt like he'd been up all day; he was ready to lie down and sleep.

The problem lay in the rock-paper-scissors way the trio interacted. Baby Hibari was convinced Chrome was his mother, cuddling into her lap and following her around the house like a little puppy. Things got awkward when he was convinced she could breast feed him (_well, she probably could, come to think of it_), the infant regularly making a grab for her blush-inducing figure.

Chrome was currently more interested in seeing the man who had saved and changed her life, Mukuro. She was drawn to him like a bumblebee to Mama's flower garden, offering to help him with whatever task he set to. Mukuro seemed to mostly tolerate her to her face, but kept trying to avoid the girl, leaping off the roof in one attempt to work in solace.

The last relationship was the one Tsuna had to watch the most, as the suit-clad Mukuro continued to show an unhealthy interest in... raising the baby. Maybe real butlers took the job of caring for the kids, and made sure they were bathed/ ready for bed on time. Tsuna didn't know for sure. But if they did, they probably didn't do it in the same way Mukuro did. Eep.

The navy-haired illusionist continued to surprise them, handing out Binachi's homemade cookies to the neighbours, crawling stiffly out of cupboards Tsuna had just opened with no explanation, or serving their dinner on shiny silverware Tsuna had never seen before in his life. This was enough to dwell on; he really didn't want to remember the grinning butler and the scared baby's time together.

As it happens, however, there was one memory between Hibari and Mukuro that he would grow to cherish that day.

* * *

"Okay, the Tenth is getting ready for school now. Seems noisy in there."

"It's getting cold out... do we really have to do this so early in the morning?"

"Quit your whining, woman."

"You said you'd buy me a warm breakfast though!"

"It was warm when I bought it, geez."

Hayato Gokudera continued to look through his binoculars, peering intently at the Sawada house as he spoke. He could just make out the idiot cow trying to use his ten-year-bazooka in the kitchen. Next to him, Haru Miura crossed her legs stiffly, complaining about the cold under her breath.

They were hidden behind some bushes in a neighbour's front yard, unknown to the man that lived there.

"Woah, the cow's trying to use the bazooka on baby Hibari. Obviously another great plan from Boss. I wonder if that'll work?"

"Can I see?" a slender hand snatched the binoculars without waiting for his reply, causing Gokudera to curse her colourfully in Italian.

"Goddamnit, it's my turn!"

"You weren't even looking at Tsuna," the girl pouted.

"Well, is it working?" Gokudera demanded, trying in vain to watch the house through his cupped hands.

"Someone else got shot with the bazooka, I think... Gosh he looks cute in his pyjamas!" Haru squealed for a moment, hand against her cheek. It wasn't so bad doing this in the morning after all.

The duo had met a few months prior in the same dumpster as they spied on Tsuna. Eventually they had fought over good hiding spots, often bumping into each other and making noise as they followed the Vongola Decimo every day, as they tended to. A mutual compromise had been made- stalk him together, for the greater good. The self-appointed right-hand man of the Vongola family ought to get along with the self-appointed future bride of the Vongola family, they both thought, so they put up with each other despite their fighting. That way they could watch Tsuna together to protect him from danger more effectively, as well as get to know him a little better while they worked up the courage to confess their feelings for him.

It wasn't entirely clear which one was which at times.

"Well, who got shot with the bazooka?"

"Um, Chrome..." Haru turned dark red. "Gah! N-no way she'll look like that in ten years! That's not fair! NOT FAIR! NOT FA-" Gokudera sighed, pulling her back down behind the bush.

"That's not the bazooka's effect, dumbass."

"Hahi?" The Midori Middle school student turned to him, trying to contain her tears.

"That's from the Sexy Bullet Shimon have. The bitch turned on us when we needed their lizard last night."

"WHAT?"

"I know, right? We're the Vongola, they should show more-"

"No, the other part! Sexy Bullet?" The brunette leaned in, face deadly serious as she pulled Gokudera by the collar. "Tell me everything!"

Gokudera's explanation of the night before was short and to the point, although it included more colourful language then Tsuna would have used.

"So it turns whoever is shot... like that?" Haru pointed back at Chrome's silhouette, thinking.

"Yeah, yeah." Gokudera spoke blankly, busy looking at the window with the reclaimed binoculars again. Looked like the kids had been having a fight, I-pin helping Hibari take things from Lambo. Cow probably deserved it.

"Gokudera-kun! Shouldn't we take that lizard, to help the family?" Haru pulled incessantly on his tie as she spoke, eyes twinkling.

"You mean steal Shimon's lizard? Well, yeah, that would be cool."

"And once we have it, we could even shoot some people first, control who's shot!"

"Oh, you mean like get revenge!"

"Sure, something like that!"

The two teens looked at each other, thinking the exact same thing for very different reasons.

"The Sexy Bullet... in our hands..." Gokudera pumped his fist, liking the idea already.

"Let's do it-desu!"

"We just need a plan..."

* * *

Tsuna came down from the stairs, school uniform loosely untucked but on. Mukuro had stayed away from the bedroom so far, so already things were looking up compared to yesterday. He just had to find Hibari so they could go to school- he still didn't quite trust the baby around anyone beyond Kusukabe, and it was better to separate this lot. They seemed to have gotten louder since Chrome headed to the shower- she was a calming figure, one Tsuna wished was around to watch them more.

He stepped into a war zone. Lambo and I-pin could be chaotic on their own when they got carried away, but Hibari made matters twice as worse. Lambo yelled with joy when the Cloud Guardian seemed to take notice of him in their games, but also cried twice as loud when he got bitten/attacked. I-pin appeared to have regained some of her old feelings for the lone wolf in diapers, and was currently agreeing with everything Hibari said. That one should have been expected, really.

At the moment some game with the three of them had gone wildly out of hand- by the time the brunet calmed them down he realized I-pin had been shot with the ten-year-bazooka, Lambo had hurt himself by stepping on Lego (and trying to breathe through a nose full of the stuff), and Hibari was looking away, moodily refusing to say what he did.

"Let me, I have just the right idea~" Mukuro bowed deeply to Tsuna, alarming the crap out of him.

"Hii! Mu-Mu-Mukuro-san, where did you come from?" The illusionist walked right past him, ignoring Tsuna's cries as he picked up Hibari. The room fell silent as everyone wondered what he was going to do.

"Now now, naughty kids need to be disciplined, _shouldn't they_?" Mukuro grinned as he spoke. His tone would have more aptly fit a sentence like 'terrorists and traitors deserve the death sentence, _right_? Audible gulps came from everyone in the room who hadn't been to hell, the infant skylark kicking and biting as he sat down. They were now on the end of the couch, in the centre of the room.

"Oh, you are naughty," Mukuro chuckled as Hibari pulled tonfa from his diaper, bashing the adult's hand repeatedly. _Where did someone even find tiny plastic tonfa? How did he hide those when I changed him? _Tsuna was at a loss for words, but that didn't stop him from trying.

"Um, Mukuro, I really need to get going to school, y'know, with Hibari, so erm..."

"Just one moment. As someone who's waited several lifetimes for a body like yours, I'm sure you can somehow manage waiting five minutes before school."

Well. What does someone _say_ to something like that?

And so the room was silent and still, watching as Mukuro bent the infant Hibari over his knee and spanked him. This was the exact same moment Hibari happened to transform back.

Poof!

A large cloud of smoke dissipated to reveal the teenage Hibari, almost-nude, bent over in the lap of Rokudo Mukuro. Tsuna's mouth dropped in shock as he realised what had happened. Mukuro's smile stayed frozen on his face, his eyes glassy and still. Would he be embarrassed? Would he be angry? What would Hibari do?

His eyes narrowed to slits, the pupils lost as he comprehended where he was, and who was holding him. Hibari hesitated for a moment, entire body trembling with rage.

"Hello there," Mukuro grinned, quickly bouncing back from his shock. "You sure are enjoying yourself! Let me know when I can get up, unless you need to give me another lap dance Kyoya-kun."

That did it.

Tsuna flinched as the teen spun around, throwing Mukuro through the glass window. Glass shattered out into the front garden before anyone had a chance to blink, Hibari leaping after him. Mukuro could only laugh as he enraged the head of the Disciplinary Committee further, praising his exposed chest moments before a vicious kick.

"Boss! What should we do?" Gokudera ran out, already on the street for some reason, watching the fight with worry. Tsuna joined him by the front door, trying to ignore the spectacle now spilling out to the middle of the road.

Mukuro was still in his elegant suit, ducking and whirling to avoid each attack. Some part of him- likely the butler- refused to strike back, simply content to provoke him and dodge each attack sent his way. Hibari was almost stark-naked, his diaper miraculously intact for now as he spun and lashed out with a primal fury, every thought focussed on destroying the man.

"Is... he gonna be okay?" Tsuna gulped. Hibari wasn't even capable of words- he'd been deathly silent this whole time. It was kind of chilling.

"I just hope he's only angry at Mukuro..." Gokudera muttered. The two boys looked at each other when he said that, expressions wide.

Within the minute Tsuna had dashed back in the house, retrieved his bag, and shouted bye to whoever was in the room. He probably should have told Chrome, or looked for Reborn- who he hadn't seen all morning- but school was very important. Important enough to run to, as it turns out, while checking over your shoulder every minute.

Before you judge the boys- Hibari had cracked the road with his _bare hands_. That just wasn't something you stuck around to watch.

* * *

Written while wearing: the Vongola Storm Ring~

A/N: Sorry about the wait, but I have a new laptop, hopefully updates are quicker from now on~ Feedback and criticism would be loved! So, did this chapter make you actually fall out of your chair, like Midi my beta?


	7. Simply White

**Love Fran**: Haha, nice response. Glad to hear it~ **Bluegirl**: Thanks for saying so, you're too kind. Haha, near-naked Hibari seems to get a good reaction, yeah. Don't worry, he'll still be involved, to an extent. **Kichou**: Hibari's back, all the way. He's just super angry at the moment, what with suddenly being near-naked in the lap of a teasing Mukuro when he came back. **iEXIST**: Your reviews are always fun to read, thanks. Pairings? There's a couple I'd like to try, side ones for fun, but they're all boy X girl, barring the main one which is all male. Still, I don't think I've made any really subjective ones, no 'Haru X Hibari' that people could feel too strongly against. I sorta wish I showed more I-pin with baby Hibari, to be honest XD **Lulu-ichigo**: Knowing Hibari, it's more 'unrestrained fury' then embarrassment. I don't want to rush it and shoot too many people, but I will soon. Thanks! **Ezcap1st**: Haha, 'molested' is a strong word. You never know... Gokudera's going to play a part, and she really wants that bullet. **Saruko**: Thanks! Hope I keep it up. **Boo I scare you**: Aww, you're too kind. Everyone wants to see Tsuna shot, but that's not the sort of thing you can just do in the middle of the fic, y'know? Still, I do want to shoot a lot of people, I'm sure you shouldn't be disappointed~ **SniperKingSogeking0341**: Good choices! I was worried there weren't any Ryohei fans out there, and Yamamoto is in my top 3 for sure. Glad you laughed :D **Black maid56**: It's a mystery! Or, um, Hibari's just good like that. Thanks for the review!** I-Kill-U-For-Yaoi**: Fantastic XD Making people nosebleed is like a hobby for me~ I might have to try something similar again later then? **Hinamorimomo 13**: Thanks! That idea wasn't meant to be so big... was just talking to my beta, she said something about when he would transform back and it hit me I should make it funny. The rest was made up on the spot XD Hope you keep liking it! **Doodle808**: Thanks! Yup, Mukuro's 'butler-ness' (great writing skills there) is basically Sebastian, yeah. They look and act so similar already, I had to do it XP Oh, when I get around to it the 0027 or 2700 (not specifying) should be good fun, yup. Thanks for the suggestion, I hope to mix it up a lot more soon as well! **Formally know as Danni55**: Thankyou! Not telling who I'll shoot next, of course ^.^;;

* * *

The sound of a flushing toilet rushed through Tsuna's ears, relaxing him. The water swirled around the bowl, Coriolis Effect sending it clockwise. Wait, that sounded off. Well, he _was_ failing science, so what did he know?

The short brunet sighed, leaning back. He was currently sitting on the closed toilet seat, taking a moment to breathe. The men's room was now silent- truly, a marvellous thing. Even if he felt weird actually _using_ the school toilets, it was perfect for running to relax in like he just had. No mafia family. No explosions. No transforming lizards. Just quiet for a moment.

In the few hours since he got home last night the three- now two, he supposed- afflicted guests had caused an untold level of chaos for the boy, unintentional as it was. Between the pain of living with Mukuro and baby Hibari earlier, and the hurried flee to homeroom with Gokudera this morning, he was completely pooped. Heh. _Toilet humour_, he grinned weakly.

Breathing out deeply, the brunet decided he really should get back to math, before the teacher suspected him of skipping class. But just this five minutes of nothing had helped calm his frazzled nerves...

"Hey, you meditate? That's extreme!"

Here we go.

Ryohei, the white-haired boxer and Sun Guardian, was currently in the stall next to Tsuna, casually leaning over the wall down at him. Why on earth would he do something like that?

"Bi-big brother! Um, no, I don't really-"

"That's hardcore- I thought only the masters could do that! I've tried meditation, but it's so hard to just sit there quietly, y'know?"

"You don't say...,"

"Oh, I had something to ask ya," he began, face adopting a serious, calm demeanour. "Listen, I've been thinking real hard since last night..." Tsuna listened, curious to see Ryohei's take on the sexy bullet. He'd never thought of the elder Sasagawa as one for romance, and he seemed really calm and surprisingly serious so far.

"So... that bullet makes things hot, right?"

"Yeah, seems that way- Adelheid called it the Sexy Bullet."

"Sexy...," Ryohei screwed his face up with the effort to keep this up, brain processing the alien train of thought. "Some mid-years told me my muscles were sexy, once."

Tsuna looked up, unsure where he was going. "Oh? I guess that's right, some girls like guys with muscle." _Not that he would ever know._

"So... this bullet makes things sexy, and girls think muscles are sexy!" Ryohei's fist hit the palm of his hand, a spark shining brightly in his eyes.

"No, that's not it!" Tsuna waved his hands hurriedly, suddenly realising what he was thinking. "You can't choose what it does to you-"

"But there's a chance this girl's thing will give me loads of muscles, right?" Ryohei shouted back gleefully, the flame in his eyes outclassing any Dying Will flame.

"Well, yeah, but it's not permanent anyway..." Tsuna hung his head in defeat as Ryohei shouted with passion, pumping himself up.

"But it could give me super muscles for a while! Once I've got them, I can just train and eat more to keep 'em!"

"EXTREEEEEEEEME! I'm gonna go fight that girl and earn one of those bullets!"

"Wait, big brother, be careful-"

"Don't worry, we've got a plan now. Thanks for helping me out Tsuna!" Ryohei dropped back down into his own stall, chanting to himself even as he audibly did his business.

Tsuna idly wondered how he could still have an inferiority complex if half the people he knew constantly interpreted his actions as awesome- Ryohei and Gokudera constantly praising him for things he hadn't been doing. Oh well. Hopefully Adelheid wouldn't hurt Ryohei for trying to steal one of her bullets- there was enough awkwardness between the families as it was. Little did Tsuna know, someone else was getting ready to mix things up for a Sexy Bullet as well...

* * *

"Okay. Whaddaya got?" Gokudera looked at the girl, arms resting casually on the back of the chair as he sat on it the wrong way.

"Are you sure you're allowed here? I know it's lunch, but still..." Haru glanced around the courtyard uneasily. Compared to the reserved, tidy uniform of Midori Middle, Gokudera's rings, buckles, and obviously-must-be-dyed hair stood out just a little, although half the kids playing handball didn't seem to notice him.

"Pftt, you head into our school all the time," Gokudera waved away her concerns. "Now, how're we going to get that bullet?"

"Well," Haru fiddled with her hair for a moment, hesitating. "We're two of the smartest people we know, grade-wise, so we should use that to our advantage and come up with something really smart! I mean, I made it into Midori Middle, and you were home tutored in Italy, right?"  
"Hm... I see your point, go on." Gokudera thought book-smarts weren't much use without common sense, but let her finish.

"Well, we need to get creative! Adelheid hasn't met me, so I can win her trust while she deals with a new problem, one you cause."

"So what, I blow up her house?"

"No! First, she gets a notebook that can kill anyone, just by writing someone's name in it. She'll only think it can though- you can use some of that pervert doctor's poison, make it look like people died of a heart-attack or something. Then I befriend her while pretending to be her enemy, although she won't know that because you'll be in disguise pretending to be the one doing my other actions, in order to draw her suspicions to-"

"That sounds lame and pointlessly complicated. Let's just mug her." The Smoking Bomb ruined her master plan (that she'd thought was pretty interesting) almost instantly. Holding up a stick of dynamite, Gokudera grinned.

"See this? It's the perfect distraction tool on its own."

"Hahi? This just sounds brutish," the girl's cheeks blew out as she pouted.

"No way! I'm not a _total_ idiot, we won't just charge in there. We just need to wait until night, when the Shimon are asleep, before we make a move."

"Can Haru be in costume?" the girl asked, thinking of her eccentric cosplay hobby.

"Sure, get us disguises to be safe. We don't wanna be recognised if we're discovered; get me one too." The punk misinterpreted her words magnificently.

"Gokudera-kun likes cosplay! Thank you!" Haru leapt off her chair, hugging Gokudera tightly. She'd never met a guy who enjoyed costumes before- maybe he wasn't so bad after all!

"What the hell is cosplay? Get off me, damn woman!" Gokudera flailed slightly, wondering what she was on this time. Haru was annoying, but she was still miles better then that idiot cow, or the boxing idiot. _Especially_ better then the baseball idiot. It seemed he liked the word 'idiot'. Regardless, it looked like he'd be relying on her tonight, but he thought Haru could do it... that Sexy Bullet was as good as theirs.

* * *

"It's... a little tight." Chrome looked down, trying to see her lower back and legs with a tilt of her head. Bianchi crossed her arms, frowning at the comment.

"Rub it in, why don't ya."

"Oh, sorry!" Chrome blushed, realising how ungrateful she must sound. She was currently borrowing some of the Italian's clothes, including a pair of dark jeans that hugged her legs like tights and a sleeveless tee. Considering how much money Chrome had, she really couldn't afford buying clothes that fit her, especially since the Sexy Bullet could wear off in just a few days.

"It's just... I'm used to skirts, and how comfortable they are to move in. That's all, really- I'm very grateful Bianchi-san!"

"Relax, it's no big deal," the terrible cook shrugged it off. Anything beat the girl going around half-naked in the Sawada house, especially if Reborn saw her like she was.

Chrome thanked her again as she left, heading up to Tsuna's room. Like she'd thought, the boy had gotten back from school a little while ago. She sometimes wondered what it was like going to school- it might be nice to see the others more regularly. Shaking her head, she remembered where she was.

Tsuna was currently lying across his bed, on his stomach, staring at Leon the lizard.

"Boss? Can I come in?"

"Sure thing Chrome." He sounded distracted as his staring match with the little green guy continued. Chrome bent her knees and sat on the floor, trying to ignore how strange it felt- she was up much higher then she would have been normally, thanks to her taller legs. She idly looked around for a moment, unsure what to say. His room was quaint as always, although signs of Tsuna's adventurous life were visible- the ring he'd taken off, lying on the bedside drawer. A sizeable collection of guns and ammo in one corner, curtsey of Reborn, lying atop incomplete homework.

Leon- did he look different? The lizard was lying on his side on the blanket, underbelly lazily swirling between different colours. In the minute she watched he managed to complete the rainbow, skin hovering on a pale yellow-pink for especially long.

"Reborn and Dino both said it takes five to seven days for a new bullet to be made," Tsuna muttered, looking towards Chrome. "But Hibari-san and Mukuro-san (she perked up as he said the latter's name) were both shot on Friday."

"Is there something wrong with that?" Chrome frowned with her good eye, looking back at the lizard.

"That means the next bullet can't come until tomorrow, Wednesday, at the earliest- that's what I've been telling myself every night, I can't be wrong about that," he grinned sheepishly before continuing. "The only reason both of them were shot on the same day is because Leon starts out with 2 bullets on the first day of his mating season, according to Gokudera."

"Wait, so there's still another S-sexy bullet out there right now?" Chrome's expression went downhill as she realised this. It felt... uncomfortable, thinking of someone else getting shot, especially another girl.

"Yeah, and another at some point this week," Tsuna agreed with her concerns. "But Adelheid didn't seem to realise her lizard was ready to mate when it had bullets- she seemed surprised when I told her, and she hadn't shot anybody yet. So the start date could have been different, or even earlier." Chrome's thin eyebrows raised as she realised where he was going with this.

"And now Leon's belly is doing this weird rainbow thing... That's never happened before."

"Do you mean... he's ready to shoot someone right now?"

"I... think so," Tsuna confessed, gulping loudly as he lifted Leon. Lazy round eyes blinked slowly, looking up at him. Tsuna fought the urge to poke one of them. "And if he has a bullet, that means Reborn held off before shooting anyone, and there could be a fourth at any day!"

"Wait, are you going to shoot someone then? While Reborn-san is out?" Chrome felt her spine stiffen, tension filling the room.

"Um, I don't know! Wait, are you sure he's out? He could be a pot plant downstairs or something." Tsuna looked serious as he said this last part; Chrome decided not to make fun of or question his statement.

"So... Leon could have another bullet... right now." Chrome felt oddly relived she had already been shot- otherwise, she would have been nervous about what Boss was going to do with it. "Who do you want to shoot?"

"Kyoko-" Tsuna clasped a hand over his mouth, blurting out the first name that came to mind.

"Kyoko-chan? Really?" Chrome's voice rose.

"Well, er," he fidgeted nervously, Leon running along his arm. "I mean, I was just wondering how she could get any cuter, I guess..." His expression drifted off as he pictured something, a smile on his lips. "Er, not that I'm going to shoot her! I wouldn't do that!"

Chrome giggled at the look on the boy's face. Boss wore his heart on his sleeve, as always.

"Anyway... I should call Dino-san, he seems to know the most about this bullet." Tsuna got up, heading for his phone.

"Oh, Chrome, have you seen Mukuro-san? Since, um, this morning?" He turned to her, suddenly remembering something.

"Um, no... Do you have any idea where he is?" Tsuna's expression turned sheepish.

"Don't worry, I'm sure he's fine. It's nothing to worry about!" He quickly made his exit. Chrome wondered if the boy knew more then he was letting on- she hadn't seen Hibari-chan anywhere today either, and (she whispered in the corner of her mind) he was kind of cute as a baby. Hopefully they'd both be back to the house soon.

"What? You mean you have a Moe Bullet in your hands?" Dino's voice exploded through the phone, Chrome able to hear him easily. In no time at all he'd forced Tsuna into promising he'd hold onto Leon while the blonde headed over, glee evident in his voice.

"D-Dino-san! Are you sure? Reborn's going to be mad if you shoot someone," Tsuna gulped as he spoke.

"That monster is going to be even more mad when I shoot _him_ as payback for two weeks of my childhood."

"What was it that was so bad...?"

"Never mind that Tsuna! Now just hold onto that lizard, tight!"

And that was how Tsuna found himself in his room, playing idly with Leon while he waited for his fellow Mafia leader to come over. Leon seemed tired, presumably from the effort of creating the bullets, but he was smiling.

"I suppose you're really hoping to get a girlfriend, huh...," he muttered. He thought of his own girl troubles, and realised there was a definite silver lining to all of this; if Leon was happy and did find a mate, then that would repay him for all the bullets and clothes he'd made Tsuna over the months.

Having said that, he really, really didn't want to get shot.

The brunet passed the time trying to reach the others, to no luck. Gokudera's phone was off, and he'd been gone since lunch. Yamamoto had taken the entire day off, which was worrying, and he didn't pick up- hopefully the two were okay. Tsuna debated calling Kyoko if she wanted to come over, _just in case_, but one look at Chrome's smile made him decide against that. He was just deciding whether it was worth the risk of going downstairs for a snack- Bianchi was offended when nobody ate her cookies, something that had turned eating in his own home into a dangerous sport comprised of timing and luck- when he heard that ever-present mafia doorbell, the explosion.

Tsuna bolted upright, heading outside his room as gunfire echoed across the house. One quick look told him it wasn't Lambo's grenades- the hallway had a new skylight, dust and wooden beams crashing down onto the carpet.

"Hiiii!" Tsuna looked up to see two combatants staring each other down, standing on the roof silently. "Y-Yamamoto-kun? Reborn?"

The baby cocked his hat up with the end of a revolver, grinning with a small tilt of his lips.

"You're too slow," he declared, leaping out of eyesight. Tsuna could only watch as Yamamoto charged after the baby, sword held down low as blue flames flickered off the deadly steel.

"Wha- why are you two fighting!" Tsuna called out. No reply came for a while, as sounds of a struggle echoed down. Amid gunshots, he heard the regular kind of doorbell, and realised Dino was probably downstairs right now.

"Remember Tsuna? I have to beat him for that bullet!" called Yamamoto cheerfully, voice in contrast to the serious mask he wore. His expression didn't even flicker as he parried gunfire with his sword on an angle, slashing vertically at the baby with all of his might. Reborn took it in stride, landing on the hilt nimbly as he kicked the baseballer in the face, jumping back all within a second. Then they were off again, jumping around the roof out of sight.

"This is bad..." Tsuna moaned. What if they broke more of the house, or got seriously hurt? Well, it explained why he hadn't seen either of them today- knowing Yamamoto, he'd been fighting tirelessly since the moment he discovered there was a new Moe Bullet ready. The scratches and dirt on their skin backed that up.

"Reborn's distracted! What luck!" a warm hand clasped Tsuna's shoulder, Dino Chiavarone smiling at him. He was dressed like usual, fur-lined jacket and effortless Italian style. Unlike usual, he was out for revenge, a dark twinkle in his eyes.

"Now where's that lizard?" He wasn't wasting any time.

"Wait, uh, I'm not so sure we should just use the bullets like that, maybe do what's best for Leon?" Tsuna hesitated, a painful butterfly fluttering sluggishly in his belly. Chrome, back from opening the door for Dino, smiled nervously as she tried to watch the battle above. They didn't seem to be using lethal force, but there was no way Yamamoto would be going to practice tomorrow either.

"Should we stop them?" She gestured to her ever-present trident, unsure.

"Tsuna, tell me where he is, _please._" Dino's hands went out in a begging motion. "You don't understand what went on, and why I have to do this. Reborn is a true sadist!"

"I've known that since the day I met him!" Tsuna countered, unsure how that defended the infant hitman in any way.

"Um, where is Leon?" the resident Mist Guardian asked, peering at Tsuna's bed with concern written on her face in metre-high letters.

"What do you mean where is he!" Tsuna and Dino ran in behind her, searching fruitlessly. Leon had vanished.

"I told you to keep a tight grip on him! When did you last see Leon?"

"Um, right before the explosion, when I saw Yamamoto-kun and Reborn fighting-"

Dino swore furiously in Italian, looking back up at the roof just in time.

"As predictable as ever, you two," Reborn smiled the special smile that sent chills down their backs. "I'm disappointed." A small green animal they knew well ran along his arm, transforming into a handgun. Tsuna gulped, looking up through the broken rafters as Reborn stepped forward, silhouette blocking the open sky ominously.

"I knew Dino wouldn't come near me if he thought I had a bullet. But getting back at a cruel teacher who deserves it is just too good for you to pass on, isn't it, no-good-student number 1?" The 'Bucking-Horse' gulped, eyes the size of dinner plates.

"R-Reborn! You mean you knew I would call Dino-san if I found a bullet?" Tsuna felt like he'd just betrayed Dino, leading him into a trap. Which he had.

"Of course." The Arcobaleno leapt down lightly, startlingly close to them in the hallway now. "And now you've actually approached me, and tried to one-up your almighty teacher. That deserves some kind of punishment, doesn't it?" Reborn cocked and aimed his gun at the blonde's forehead, instantly making him panic.

"I won't let you!" he cried, whip flying towards Reborn with a wicked lash, unfortunately rebounding and hitting Tsuna in the nose instead. _He didn't bring his family NOW of all times? _Tsuna clutched his nose painfully as he tried not to let tears well in eyes, mindful of the respected older-brother figure and hot girl in the room, the two kinds of people you tried not to tear up in front of the most.

"I'm sorry, Tsuna!" Yamamoto coughed from the roof, a worn out smile on his face as he watched the events below. "He's even tougher then I thought before!" There was blood running down the side of his face, but that wasn't the biggest concern they had at the moment.

"Reborn, I swear I'll cut off all ties to the Vongola if you do this!" Dino threatened as he backed away, sweat running down his face.

"Go ahead. I don't care, although the second loser student here might." Reborn's cold expression showed he meant what he said.

"I'll, I'll... I'm going to make you regret this!" Dino stepped forward, resignation on his face. There was no way to avoid it- he knew he wasn't skilled enough to dodge a shot from the world's best hitman, especially close-range without his family around. The only thing he had going for him was that someone shot with the Moe Bullet couldn't be shot again while they were affected- that would be the only chance he had to shoot the psycho baby, next week.

"Hm... you've matured," Reborn commented, seeing the resolve in his eyes. "Normally I could taunt you more as you ran away. You've made this boring," he declared.

"So boring you'd rather shoot Tsuna or Yamamoto-kun?" Dino offered, a cheesy grin on his handsome features.

"Hey!" Tsuna protested.

"Nope, not a chance," Reborn smiled, shooting Dino with the latest Moe Bullet as he spoke.

The bullet struck him dead-centre in the forehead, exploding in a cloud of smoke. Here it was... What could Dino transform into that was so traumatising? Tsuna strained his eyes through the smoke, curiosity taking the better of him.

"Dino-san?"

* * *

-To be continued-

* * *

Written while wearing: The Rain Ring, my favourite ring~

A/N: Another long chapter . I think Gokudera X Haru is going to be a side-pairing at this rate, what do you guys think? They can stalk Tsuna together :3 Hope you guys can live with a cliff-hanger for the week! I'm so mean...

**Contest time!** If you all get to 82 reviews or more before the next chapter, I'll write a lovely G27 smut-fic for everyone! It's a bit of a stretch, so help out and review, yeah guys? Remember, you have to reach 82- or more- reviews before the next chapter, in a weeks time, so work together please~


	8. Tomorrow's Way

"D-Dino-san!" Tsuna gulped. The moment of discovery... what had he turned into when shot with the Moe Bullet? The smoke started to clear; his silhouette was the same- not a babies like he'd feared. "Dino-san?"

* * *

**moonray9**: Thanks for the review~ Everyone does, so I'm going to have do an omake where he gets shot or something, to tide them over. **Kichou**: As succinct as ever, I see~** iexist**: Cliffhanger's are fun :P Don't worry, all your questions will be answered this chapter. Let me know if you have another crush in particular I should shoot, yes? **doodle808**: Haha, exactly. Reborn's always a step ahead, even when he's behind you, and I'm trying to capture that. **SniperKingSogeking0341**: YES XD That's two different chair-fallings so far, this story has been received pretty well. You should like Ryohei's next scene today~ **Boo I scare you**: Your answers will be here now, don't worry~ I have a surprise for all you 'shoot Tsuna' fans as well.** Black maid56**: I'll promise not to do too many cliff-hangers, but it should be worth it :D **Formally know as Danni55**: Don't worry, good things come to those who wait. **LaCremeLaVanille**: Well, Haru has great grades + a private school, the same things Light had to prove his intelligence. For all we know, her personality is all but an act XD **Lulu-ichigo**: I think cliff-hangers are enjoyed more by authors then their readers, will try to avoid them too much in the future. Having said that, the last chapter was already big, and this one is be my biggest yet...** I-Kill-U-For****-****Yaoi**: Someone's enthusiastic, thankyous~ I never know 'how soon' is 'update soon', though...

* * *

"Don't look at me!" Dino turned, a scarlet blush on his face. Tsuna blinked for a moment- Dino looked the same as ever.

"What do you mean? Nothing's changed, right-"

"Nothing? Nothing!" Dino turned back towards him, glaring through hurt eyes. His voice sounded different, come to think of it...

"You call _these_ nothing?" Dino pointed at his chest angrily. Or, as Tsuna belatedly realised, it's wasn't _his_ chest at all. Dino's now-oversize and loose jacket went someway to hiding it, but Dino had gotten shorter, body more slender, his hair now tickling the end of his shoulders. _And he had become female._

"Hiiiiii!"

* * *

Yamamoto rose instantly, looking around with a sharp expression. Clutching his stomach with a small wince, he realised someone had somewhat-amateurishly wrapped him in bandages since that fight with Reborn. A grimace touched his lips, quickly replaced with a smile; sad expressions never made a situation better. Better to smile at the pain.

He was lying on a plush futon, in the corner of what he thought was a fantastic room. The floors were old and wooden, traditional sliding doors and panels letting in the moonlight instead of regular walls. It held the same style as ancient Japan, or the interior of his Dad's sushi shop. Unlike his room it was clean- almost bare- although wall scrolls of stylised bird paintings and some brightly coloured pillows on the floor livened it up.

"You're awake now, Yamamoto-kun?" Chrome entered the room, holding a tray of soup between delicate fingers.

"Hm? I'll be fine. Where are we?" Yamamoto changed the subject, looking around with obvious interest.

"Oh, this is the spare room I'm staying in next to Tsuna's," Chrome's voice lowered, looking away. Was she embarrassed?

"Haha, wow. Your illusions have more uses then I realised. So you can 'go to your happy place' whenever you feel like it, huh?" His grin widened with the joke.

"Well, it changes most nights, I just got into the habit of changing the room when I saw how bare it room was... I can change it back if you think it's rude of me! I didn't mean to insult the Sawadas!" Chrome sat down on the floor next to him, not understanding Yamamoto's laughter.

"So, how long was I out?" Yamamoto pulled at his bandages, trying to see how what it was like underneath.

"Stop that. Um, just a few hours." Yamamoto smiled at the purple-haired girl, sitting up properly against the wall. "Um," Chrome paused for a moment, unsure if she was being overbearing. "What was it like fighting Reborn? Why would you fight for the whole day?"

"Ah, it was great fun!" Yamamoto tried the soup, slurping up the noodles enthusiastically. "It's sorta like the feeling you get stepping out onto the pitch, ready for a match. Reborn's a tough challenge, but I think I'll be able to beat him one day."

"So fighting is just like baseball for you?"

"Nah, they're different. But that feeling of excitement before a match, and trying to be better then you are- that's something they share in common." Chrome simply nodded, silent for a moment as the teen continued to eat. Thanks to her illusions, this room was also much quieter then the house outside- it was pleasant just to run to for a moment.

Yamamoto finished slurping the broth, sighing as he put the bowl down. It was surprisingly good- he wondered who had made it. Probably not Tsuna's Mama, his instincts told him- the taste was stronger then hers would have been, spicier.

"Thanks for the soup," he spoke on autopilot, placing both chopsticks along the tray. His head was down as he did so, not noticing the blush that pinched at Chrome's cheeks.

"Before I passed out," his face furrowed in concentration. "Dino was shot, wasn't he?" Chrome went scarlet red at this comment, looking away instantly.

"Um... yes, he- Dino was."

"So, what happened?" Yamamoto smiled, wondering why she was acting strange.

"Um, well... about that," Chrome began, spluttering out her words. Yamamoto waited, wondering what could make her react like that, when the door slid open.

"There you are!" a cheerful voice called, as a blonde woman Yamamoto had never seen before skipped in.

"Tsuna-chan said he saw you go up here," the woman hugged Chrome tightly as she spoke, a big goofy grin on her face as she nuzzled the illusionist. Chrome's eyes were spinning; she looked like she was going to pass out. Yamamoto wondered at this scene- the girl looked strangely familiar, but how? She was wearing loose pants and a fur-lined jacket, and was bare foot. Her lips were full, but she didn't look like she was wearing make-up.

"Um, are you feeling okay-"

"Chrome-chan, speak up," the bright girl paused for a moment, looking down at her friend. "This... isn't how I normally act around you, is it?"

"It really isn't!" Chrome burst out, sighing with relief. She got it now.

"But you're so cute... I kinda want to hug you still," the girl muttered, letting go reluctantly.

Chrome went to say something, stopping herself at the last minute. There was an awkward tension between them.

"Do I know you, miss?" Yamamoto asked, looking at the blonde curiously.

"Of course you do! I haven't changed that much, have I?" She looked concerned, prompting Yamamoto to think for a moment. She looked a lot like Dino-san, and was wearing his jacket. She had the same happy-go lucky smile,

and similar hair. And he'd been shot today...

"You're Dino-san's sister, aren't you!" he cried triumphantly, grinning as the palm of his hand met his fist.

"How did you come to that?" the blonde fell backwards, trying not to laugh.

"He was shot with the Moe Bullet today, wasn't he? You must be worried about him, so you came here to check on the guy!"

"You've got it all wrong!" Chrome watched their exchange, wondering how serious Yamamoto was behind that smile. There was no way he was actually that dense, right? But it seemed to have been a good response- the young woman with them was grinning with exasperation, trying not to laugh at the boy.

"Listen, I... am Dino." _She'd said it!_ "Or Diana, if you must." Yamamoto's chuckling stopped.

"Oh, it turned you into a girl? Like, a genderbend?" Diana's face fell.

"Yes." She crossed her arms, turning away so she didn't have to face him, only to unfold her arms a second later. Boy, did that feel weird against her new chest.

"I see now!" Yamamoto laughed, remembering all the things he (she?) had said about a traumatizing bullet.

"Don't laugh! This goes way beyond just changing my body!" Diana glared, pointing one long finger in his direction. "It messes with me head, too."

"Oh, is it that uncomfortable?" Chrome looked across at the girl, pity in her eyes. "I think I know what you mean, on a small scale-"

"No, that's not it at all." Diana shook her head. She uttered one word, as if it were a horrible curse-word used only by Vikings. "_Estrogen_."

"Hey, that doesn't make us crazy or anything!" Chrome took offence at the implications there, especially since her own body was probably making three times as much with her extra curves.

"Well, estrogen does make people crazy, but that's for another time." Diana's face was down and gloomy as she poked her thighs. They shouldn't be _soft_. "But after being male, there's a massive amount of difference in the hormones in my head. It's practically switched all of the testosterone in my body out, and the sudden change makes the effects much worse then if I were a female all along."

"Truth be told," The blonde looked away again, nearly mumbling, "Some of you guys are c-cute, now." Her voice was a tiny squeak at this point, crimson furiously colouring her cheeks as she realised what she'd said.

"That must be hard..." Chrome gave the girl a hug, trying to picture herself in Dino's shoes. Yamamoto looked on curiously, wondering if Diana was going to try and kiss him. Not that he wasn't sympathetic to the plight, but that was way too intense for him- he was kinda hoping Diana would leave soon. It was uncomfortable being around that, for sure...

* * *

Tsuna sighed, drinking from his tea deeply.

"So, Dino-san turned into a girl last time he was shot as well?" he asked Reborn, nervously watching the infant dismantle and polish his revolver. The dinner table sure was different lately.

"Correct, for once," chirped Reborn. He'd been in a good mood that day, ever since shooting his former pupil. Tsuna now realised why Dino had been so reluctant to get shot again- spending over a week as a girl back when he was barely pubescent himself couldn't have been fun.

"So, uh, is this one of the times the bullet effects your personality as well?" Tsuna's hand ran through messy hair, pulling as he tried to think how to word his query. "Dino-san's always been care-free, but now he seems a little more, um-"

"Embarrassing?" A smirk appeaed on the Arcobaleno's face.

"Well, not exactly," Tsuna back-pedalled, waving his hands. But it _was_ awkward when the blonde declared him cute.

The doorbell went off, saving the brunet from further conversation. It was dark out- who would be calling at this hour? Tsuna opened the door to find the creepiest smile he'd ever seen on a fellow human being, the familiar one that belonged to Rokudo Mukuro.

"I return," he smiled elegantly, bowing. Tsuna jumped back, hands up to guard his face.

"DON'T HURT ME!"

Mukuro's head tilted to the side, hair parting as he looked at the boy with confusion. "Whatever do you mean?" Tsuna looked up, slowly, trying not to panic at the sight of his second illusionist covered in wounds. The butler had a black eye, dried blood caking around the side of his head, and obvious bruising under his freshly-stained suit. He looked like he really had gone to hell (again).

Mukuro's eyes narrowed, as his forced smile became more obvious.

"Have faith in me, Sawada Tsunayoshi," he began, hissing tightly behind clenched teeth. "I sustained injuries during a rather... troubling encounter this morning. But fear not," his grin became more genuine as he said this, leaning closer to Tsuna in the doorway. Clutching onto the front of the boy's shirt, he whispered, "I can still tend to you, young master, as well as before." Tsuna stared, frozen to the spot as he struggled to come to terms with what he had just been told. When faced with such terror, he resorted to the safest possible response: panicked gibberish.

"Th-that won't be needed, it's okay, just go in and grab some tea, maybe get someone to look at your wounds, but not Mama! I mean, she's erm, busy, yes very busy as ever, ask Reborn instead, oh what was that noise just now, I th-think I need to go check on Lambo now, good day, hope you have better luck in the future, I enjoy walks on the beach but the sand gets in my shoes, I think everyone around me is terrifying-"

"Hush," Mukuro stopped his frenzied nonsense, putting a gloved finger softly against Tsuna's lips. Mukuro's smile grew even deeper as he removed the illusion, letting Tsuna know he was okay as he revealed once-more flawless skin.

Tsuna stared, mind numb. He'd assumed the man's battle scars were from provoking Hibari earlier in the morning, but it felt even worse that the man was unhurt at all after something like that. What had they been up to all day? No, he didn't want to hear that. Tsuna was sure he would find out soon enough, no need to rush towards that kind of revelation.

No one aside from Reborn seemed to realize what was amiss, as Mukuro limped stiffly through the warm kitchen. The navy-haired sociopath's illusion was otherwise perfect, and hid the wounds from that damn tonfa-brat rather well. Next time he saw Hibari, blood would shed. Hibari's, that is. No one dared tarnish his handsome features without a reason.

Tsuna watched somewhat helplessly as Mukuro insisted on making them all hot chocolate before bed, still too shocked to say much. The doorbell echoed through his ears once again, giving the boy a pleasant excuse to leave the awkward tension filling the room in Mukuro's presence.

"Seriously, is anyone in the mafia asleep?" His deadpan greeting was ignored by Adelhied Suzuki, who merely gestured behind her.

"Sawada, discipline your subordinates better."

"My... I have subordinates?" The Vongola-to-be blinked, unsteady as he talked to the girl. Out of nowhere an incredibly tall girl with overwhelmingly huge, erm, 'eyes' was at the door, expression as cold as ever. He barely knew the Shimon subordinate, but she still scared him. It was hard to believe she was his age, or even still in middle school.

"Your Sun Guardian attempted to beat me in one-on-one combat." Her statement was supported as Tsuna looked behind her, the form of Ryohei passed out on the steps to his door.

"B-big brother! Is he alright?"

"I merely stunned him; he will recover. I suggest you prevent him from returning, unless you want to search for a new Sun Guardian before your upcoming Vongola ceremony." Adelheid bowed her head a little to Tsuna, as if apologizing for the situation. From his angle it looked more like she was taunting the boy, towering over him as a hint of a smile touched her lips. "_You wouldn't want the Vongola to be weakened before the ceremony now, would you?_"

Had he just been threatened? Tsuna gulped audibly, hand up in a half-hearted wave as Adelheid left. In two short minutes she had already left him weak at the knees, and not in the usual way Adelheid made males feel either. _Such... a scary woman! She fits in the Mafia perfectly!_ Tsuna snapped out of it as his boxing-obsessed friend groaned, getting up weakly. It was too dark to see him properly, the light from inside weak.

Had... Adelheid shot him with the Sexy Bullet? As a warning, maybe? Horrifying visions of Ryohei with a thin moustache filled his mind, the boy speaking Spanish and dancing the Flamenco with castanets in each hand, a rose gripped tightly between his lips. Or maybe he really had gained the extreme muscles he wanted and was now horrifyingly buff, representing Marvel's 'The Thing' from the Fantastic Four as a misshapen lump of raw muscle and strength. Wait, would that last one really count as sexy to anyone? Shaking his head wearily, Tsuna descended the steps one at a time, approaching Kyoko's elder brother with caution.

"Big Brother? Are you okay?"

"Extremely not!" A low voice muttered his catchphrase, as the boy leaped up. A chorus of angels sang in Tsuna's mind, as Ryohei Sasagawa proved he was unshot and perfectly lizard-hormone-free. Hmm.

"Lizard-hormone-free isn't something I ever expected to say..." he spoke out loud, not realising in his relief as he hugged the boy.

"Hey, relax! I'm made of tougher stuff then that, no need to worry about the boxing champ of Japan!"

Tsuna ignored that last boast, pulling him inside.

"You could have been shot with the Sexy Bullet!"

"I know! Damn it, I was so close to beating her too!"

"No, that'd be a real problem!"

"Relax, I wouldn't hurt a girl too bad!" Ryohei chuckled at Tsuna's concern, completely missing the point of his concern

Tsuna sighed, caramel eyes looking down into the cup of warm cocoa Mukuro thrust open him once more. He nodded as the fighter told him how he was 'going easy on her to the extreme', and was totally going to win next time, he assured Tsuna. The boxer didn't seem to realise their latest guest was Dino, from the look of things.

"Wow Ryohei, you look taller!" the now-shorter Italian looked up admiringly.

"That's because I drink a lot of milk!" He posed as he spoke, grinning as he explained his next battle tactics for facing Adelheid.

He planned on fighting her again this week... This was going to get worse before it got better. But Ryohei would only stop when he got shot himself, or when Adelheid's lizard found herself a partner. Little did Tsuna know, the Sexy Bullets were running out fast that night...

* * *

Gokudera and Haru had failed. Badly. They'd ditched their plan, seeing Miss-Boobs-A-Lot leaving the Tenth's house alone.

"We should take her now!"

"But what about the plan? It's risky, desu," Haru had exclaimed.

"You wanna take her alone, or when she's at a house with all the rest of Shimon, and an U.M.A. guarding the door?" Haru didn't know what an U.M.A. was, and had assumed the rival Mafia family had some high-tech security system rigged up against intruders. As a result, she agreed to go for an obvious plan then and there.

They sneaked through the bushes, adjacent to the path Adehleid was walking along. Amber street lights lit up pools of the road ahead, but everything else was dark and silent. Perfect.

"Wait, what the hell is this?" the boy hissed, inspecting his disguise.

"It's your costume. You said we could wear them while we did this, remember?"

"It's friggin' useless!" Gokudera gestured down at the gigantic carrot outfit, his face framed by bushy green leaves.

"But vegetable costumes are cute!" defended the girl, hands on the hips of her complete-body banana costume.

"How the hell am I meant to fight in this? I can't even get it off," grumbled the teen, wriggling around disturbingly as he attempted to find a zipper.

"B-but it looks good..." Haru sighed, dusting the skirt of her Magical Banana-chan costume as she waited for him to finish. Fortunately, his regular clothes were on underneath. "How did you only just notice what you were wearing?"

"Shut up. I was focused on the plan, okay?" Haru coughed something that might have been 'men!', just as they were attacked. That would teach the teens to yell at each other while stalking somebody.

Adelheid only needed three blows to finish off Gokudera, the fans under her skirt whipping out at lightning speed. The Smoking Bomb started with some dynamite, to distract her while he readied Uri and stronger weapons, but by the time he'd thrown the first explosive a gigantic heel slammed into his chest, sending the teen sprawling across the path. Adelheid spun, the wind from her fans sending him high into the air, as the final blow sent the back of Gokudera's head into the lamp-post, hard.

"Gokudera-kun!" Haru wailed, stricken. The Shimon guardian glanced at her, seeing no threat, and made to leave again.

"Hey, at least say something!" Gokudera groaned. She hadn't even said a word- how cold was this bitch?

"There's little to say. You've been plotting to steal a Sexy Bullet, and this is your warning. Stay away." Adelheid continued down the path, only to be stopped by someone else. This night was proving to be very troublesome.

"Haha! What's this I hear about a Sexy Bullet?" A man with a loose white coat, stubble and the exact hairstyle Gokudera wore stepped out onto the path.

"Y-you! Get out of here, pervert!" The silver-haired Storm guardian reacted badly to the newcomer, as always.

"How could I ever stay away from such a hot one? But the idea of a Sexy Bullet... please tell me more," the man leaned into Adelheid, only to receive a swift kick to the balls.

"Who are you exactly?" The man spluttered his answer, coughing out each word.

"Dr- Dr Shamal, at your service, -wheeze- lil' lady." His attempts at suave were slightly diminished by the running nose and racking coughs he was giving, but that didn't dissuade him. "How about we go somewhere more private to discuss this bullet of yours, away from the children?"

Adelheid ignored most of his statements.

"I am the same age as those two 'children'."

"Yikes, really?" The horny doctor was up on his feet in a flash, trying and failing to hide his drool. "When you hit twenty you're going to be very, very rich, _ma cherie_," Shamal attempted to kiss her hand then, his horrible French accent only adding to the growing list of reasons to kick him again.

"If you wish to have a Sexy Bullet, you'll have to defeat me, like these others have been trying," Adelheid blurted, eager for him to stop his creepy idea of romancing.

"Hah, easy! Do you know who I am?"

"Do I care?"

"I am Trident Shamal, renowned doctor of women! I have 666 deadly mosquitos on my person, all infected with mortal diseases, and was offered a place in the Varia! I am feared by Mafia families, respected by the Arcobaleno themselves!"

Unfortunately, he was unwilling to actually infect or hurt someone as perfect for him as Suzuki Adelheid, and was beaten even easier then Gokudera.

"My... my Sexy Bullet!"

"Is that the only thing on your mind?" Gokudera snorted, disgusted with the man.

Adelheid glanced around, realising the state of her opponents. Pitiful.

"You really take terrible care of your students," she remarked to the perverted doctor, Claire transforming into a purple handgun as she readied the next Sexy Bullet. Hopeful eyes awaited their punishment, from both the sleaze-ball and the girl- she was hardly going to give them what they want, now was she? Faced with no choice she chose the crass one, bullet flying towards the defeated Storm Guardian.

"Shit!" Gokudera's remaining curses were halted as he coughed violently, a smoke cloud erupting around the path.

Shamal wailed in disappointment as Haru cried out. A wasted Sexy Bullet, of all things! Both found themselves drawn to the dust, peering in vain through the explosion. What had the lizard done this time? The amber street light gleamed through, revealing two figures where Gokudera had been lying just moments before.

"Ehh?"

"Geezus, are you freakin' kidding me?"

Adelheid said nothing, merely frowning at the horny lizard resting on her cleavage. Where Hayato Gokudera had been just moments before, there was now two of him, completely identical silver-haired teens dressed in punk clothing. Making out furiously. With tongue.

"Twin incest? Really?" The Shimon woman muttered to her lizard, disapproving. "I told you to stay away from Julie's magazines..."

Both silver-haired teens paused for a moment, leaping backwards with horrified expressions on their faces.

"What the hell was that?"

"Who do you think you are, creep?" Both readied their dynamites, showing signs of disgust. The Gokudera on the left- Gokudera A- spat furiously as he tried to get the taste of boy saliva out, Gokudera B rubbing his mouth with the back of his hand as if he was feeling ill.

"So there's two of the kid now?" Shamal sighed as he glanced at the hot-heads, already arguing over which one was the real Gokudera.

"Seems so," Adelheid dead-panned. "Apparently twins are a fetish now? I swear I will never get her tastes." Claire merely blinked several times at her remarks, completely unabashed as she watched on.

"One's enough trouble. I'll let you deal with this problem girl, free of charge!" The heterosexual-to-a-fault doctor left, speedily leaving the road and their sights.

"Hahi? What can Haru do about this?" The middle-school student frowned, crossing her arms.

"I don't know or care," muttered the taller girl, leaving without a backward glance. Haru made to yell at her, hesitating as she looked at the powerful fighter. Then Adelheid was gone as well, leaving the poor girl with two Gokudera's, already wrestling on the ground as they tried to prove their identities in the best way they could think of.

"Yeah? Well what's the colour of the Tenth's eyes?"

"Easy- brown! What's the Tenth's favourite milkshake flavour!

"Chocolate! What's his grade average drop to whenever Kyoko is in the class?" And so they continued. Haru sighed, walking over to them. Tsuna wouldn't have believed it possible, but things just got a little bit noisier in Nanimori...

* * *

Written while wearing: The Storm Ring. Tch.

A/N: Thanks for reading! Hopefully I covered everyone's tastes between Dino and Gokudera :P Ahh, I wish Shamal met Adelheid in the series, that would have been a real treat to watch. Now, I present the first omake for this series! This is my way of shooting people more people from the future, as well as pleasing/shutting up the fans who want me to shoot Tsuna already (aren't I nice?). This ought to tide you over for a little bit, please enjoy my terrible rhyming skills~

* * *

Omake- The Dying Farm Bullet

_Young Tsuna was the first to be shot, _

_the Farm Bullet making him small._

_Fluffy bunny ears came from his head-_

_he'd become a rabbit-boy, pom-pom tail and all._

_Old Man Reborn had a farm,_

_friends and family in the pens._

_The Farm Bullet made you an animal,_

_cow, sheep, maybe even hens._

_Tsuna found himself even more shy,_

_nose twitching as he looked for some lettuce._

_Along came the scary Hibari, _

_still quite the menace._

_Guarding the kitchen, he came after the little rabbit,_

_Tsuna scurrying off to the hill._

_He'd made it away, running into an old friend;_

_Irie Shoichi was his name, but now he had a bill._

_His glasses barely fit, his feathers prim,_

_Shoichi had become a duckling, he told in a laughing quack._

_The boys giggled together, playing in the water,_

_it was rather fun, all thanks to Reborn's attack._

_Old Man Reborn had a farm,_

_empty as far as the eye could see._

_He decided to do something about this,_

_Shooting everyone with mad glee._

_Who would be third? _

_Would they become a kitty, or maybe a bird?_

_-To be continued-_


	9. Life

**ezcap1st**: Well, my logic was 'if any fangirls think it's cute, then a female lizard ought to find it cute'. I've been going under that chain of thought for a while, and I'm sure a few Dino fans got a kick out of that transformation, so it'd work on an horny girl lizard. **Saruko**: Haha, watch your language there, but thankyou.** Saruko** again: Adult Reborn, huh? I guess that'd count as 'sexy' on it's own, but Dino and Yamamoto are hoping for something more embarrassing to happen when he's shot. **Doodle808**: Well, it was just kissing, but I've still bumped the rating to a T with further scenes in mind, thanks for reminding me about that. Gokudera's hero-worship is played for laughs a few times, but that's all I'll do; that's not a pairing I'm into, to be honest. Oh, and if I shoot Gokudera, I have to shoot Yamamoto sooner or later, don't worry. **Torataro**: Thanks for the review, will do. **I-Kill-U-For-Yaoi**: I wonder if you talk like that in real life... **SniperKingSogeKing0341**: I think you're the only Ryohei fan here, unfortunately. But don't worry, I want to do more with him still~ **Boo I scare you**: Haha, thanks. I'm trying to be creative with these bullets, make them last. I never actually expected people to want Tsuna shot so badly... I'm considering changing the ending of this fic as a result. **iEXIST**: I personally despise the twin fetish, being a twin myself, but I figured you guys would enjoy. How could I bring the future Varia into it? O.o I think you might have to make do with regular-age Varia, unless I get them into an omake. **Lulu-ichigo**: Hopefully you can't tell, but I've never liked twincest :P But I'm catering to all audiences here, and it is fun trying to think of more bullet ideas. Hopefully I can continue surprising you ^.^ **uchihafan32**: Glad you found my story~

* * *

Tsuna rubbed his fists against his temples, concentrating on his breathing. Breathe in. Gokudera was currently arguing against himself, trying to decide which one of them would go to school. Breathe out. Mukuro was teasing Lambo again, judging by the explosions and 'kufufufu's' emanating from upstairs. Breathe in. Yamamoto and Dino- Diana now- were idly discussing when the fourth Moe Bullet would appear at the kitchen table, wondering best how to tackle the crazed Arcobaleno next week. They were still set on shooting him, despite how badly it messed things up yesterday...

Breathe out. Chrome was checking on Ryohei's wounds, having become a make-shift nurse for the household while she was here. She was trying to talk him out of fighting Adelheid, but his only compromise was to wait a day or two while stocking up on energy bars before having another battle. Breathe in. He still needed to go to school today, and pretend nothing was wrong...

"Did you guys decide which one is coming? We're gonna be late," mentioned Tsuna, rubbing his hands together awkwardly.

"Ah, sorry Tenth!" came both replies. The Gokudera's scowled at each other, obviously unable to come to an agreement. It was a little strange seeing two silver-haired punks arguing like this in his living room. They seemed to be identical on the inside, both arguing over who got to stay at the Sawada house last night.

"Why can't you both go home?" the young Vongola Decimo had wondered, looking at his crowded house. "It's not like you live with anyone who you'd have to explain this to; there should be plenty of room."

"But this guy's pissing me off!" the Smoking Bomb's had declared, pointing with their thumb and jerking a chin towards the other. "Besides," the Gokudera on his left had begun, "it's too risky to be alone together, I'd say," his doppelganger finished.

"Um, what do you mean?" Tsuna asked, head swinging between the two as if he was following a tennis match. It was confusing when they finished sentences for each other.

"Like this!" Haru had announced, leaping up from the couch as she violently shoved the nearest Gokudera. Panic struck his face in the second he moved before colliding with the other Storm Guardian.

"Oh..." Tsuna's pupils shrunk as he saw exactly what was so worrying. The moment the Gokudera's touched each other, they had begun feeling each other up, hands wrapped around their twin torsos, one hand under another Gokudera's shirt. The moment lasted about five excruciating seconds before they snapped out of it, leaping away from each other again. The room was silent as everyone realised what they had just seen.

"Hahaha!" Yamamoto had burst into laughter, joining Haru's giggling which broke the spell.

"So..." Tsuna searched for the right words. "Everytime you two touch you... do that?"

"The boob-lady explained it, kinda," Haru looked at him with a massive smile on her face as she spoke, the kind of grin a James Bond villain might wear before announcing their plan to take over the world. "She said it was twin incest, which is a fetish!"

"Is, is that so..." Tsuna felt his life slowly sweating out the back of his neck. He supposed he should just be grateful Hibari or Mukuro hadn't been shot with that specific bullet- the damage would be unimaginable.

"Actually, I think I see how that might be a fetish," Diana had remarked slyly, looking at the twin Hayato's with her hand below her chin, expression thoughtful. _Don't say anymore! Stop there!_

And so, at the Gokudera's not-unreasonable urging, Tsuna asked his Mama if Gokudera could stay over for a little while while his apartment was being repaired (from an alligator attack, which was somehow the first cover story to enter Haru's mind). He still remembered the expression on her face when he mentioned another guest- it made him sick to think about it. Mama had smiled almost straight after and said yes, provided he could help with the chores, but he knew she wasn't okay about the state of things.

These bullets hadn't done anything to attract another lizard, as far as he knew- all they were doing was making life hard for his mother... Tsuna berated himself for letting the Mafia even remotely affect her life. Their household had climbed from two to six people a few months ago, with the arrival of Lambo, I-pin, Bianchi and Reborn. But at least they were relatively easy to care for, the latter two helping around (and cooking) like they ought to, the other two just children. He couldn't say the same for his latest guests; even the considerate Yamamoto had accidentally broken his roof open fighting Reborn, and Mukuro was far more trouble then he was help. But he couldn't just throw his friends out into the street at night, so the injured Ryohei and Yamamoto had stayed over last night, along with Chrome and Diana (too embarrassed over their bullets to head to their own 'families'), Mukuro and one Gokudera.

Twelve. Twelve people living in a house used to two. The food bills and shower line in the morning was the least of their problems, seeing how every single guest was capable of blowing up the building by accident (and one practically tried to, considering how many grenades he'd hidden in his curly hair). Regardless, they had spent a busy morning getting ready, and it was finally time to leave for school.

"Rock! Paper... Scissors!" Gokudera B pumped his fist, grabbing their school bag to Gokudera A's chagrin.

"So, you finally decided?" Yamamoto asked, grinning with bemusement as the two had fought. Both Gokudera's instinctively chose rock every single time, leading to half-a-dozen tied matches at first.

"Shut up, baseball idiot," retorted the remaining Gokudera. Both were in an even worse mood then usual with the taller boy, even though he swore it was an accident he'd tripped and pushed a Gokudera, sending the guy hurtling down the stairs, through the kitchen, and into his twin, where they started passionately making out for another few seconds. Complete accident.

"Anyway, school guys!" Tsuna hurriedly interrupted the fight between the two (three?) of them, wishing they could get along better. Yamamoto merely laughed, heading out.

"Thanks for having me for the night! Oh, and say thanks to your Mama and Chrome, for the soup and bandages!" Bowing slightly, the cheerful Rain Guardian left, sliding door closing behind him with a clack. Ryohei had already left- morning jogs were important to maintain, no matter what your condition- so that just left Tsuna and Gokudera to go. Tsuna was hoping between them they could figure out a way to deal with all of this, but it didn't seem likely...

Tsuna passed on Yamamoto's message as he said his goodbyes as well, awkwardly embraced by the smiling blonde that used to be Dino.

"Um, were you always so... huggy?" Diana cocked her head to the side at this.

"Of course! I've always liked hugs, silly."

"Um, right..." Tsuna's face felt hot. "I'll be going now!" He ran out of the house, unsure what he could possibly say in this situation. Poor Dino...

Diana turned her head to the side, eyeing Chrome as they waved her boss out of the doorway.

"You need some new clothes."

"Eh? No it's fine, really," the violet-haired girl stammered.

"Don't be silly!" Diana tugged at her shirt, which proved itself to be very tight. Diana had only shrunk a few inches, but Chrome was now taller then her. The illusionist was easily a C-cup, and her thighs definitely had more of a curve to them now... Diana felt weirdly jealous looking at her legs. "Well, it must be uncomfortable borrowing Bianchi's clothes all the time. Come on, let's go shopping!"

Chrome looked at the (woman? Man? Trans-gendered shemale?) _person_ next to hernervously. It was a pretty normal thing for a girl to want to go shopping, she guessed, but it still felt weird.

"C'mon!" The Bucking Horse insisted, pulling her away at her arm. "I'm still in my boy clothes from yesterday, so I need someone to help me out. I'm used to suits; I have no idea what size I am or anything. I'll buy you some better clothes as well?"

"Sure..." Chrome gave up, receiving another violent hug as thanks. She could be stuck like this for as little as one more day- or anywhere up to twelve days from now- so some shirts that fit wouldn't hurt. She'd forgotten that Dino was a multi-millionaire, having fixed the financial problems of a large Mafia family single-handedly. So having him (or her? This hurt her head) buy a few extra outfits probably meant nothing to Diana. Dino. Gah.

"Right, let's getting going then!" Diana ran up to her room, already looking for her her wallet.

"Ah, right away?" Chrome fidgeted, hands in front of her chest. "We'll be giving you some quiet then, ma'am," she told Tsuna's mother, a small part of her wondering if she had to ask permission to go out.

"That's fine, please have fun," she smiled warmly. In a few seconds those two were gone as well, leaving the kitchen empty for the first time in days. Sinking into a chair, she only had Mukuro the butler and the usual children to look after- that wasn't so bad.

"That's funny," she wondered, sipping a tea slowly. "I don't remember making Yamamoto-kun soup yesterday."

* * *

Tsuna sighed, resting his arms on the railing. He looked across at the rest of the school grounds far below him, the wind messing up caramel hair. Things were insane. He'd barely even felt shocked at Gokudera's twin thing, after all the hell he'd been through lately. It wouldn't be so bad, but this was like his initial adventures in the Mafia- there was no one to blame, no enemy to focus on. It was just... happening to him.

"I have no idea if we'll ever find another lizard to end this... I feel bad, but Leon must feel worse," he sighed. Enma nodded in sympathy, gaze out towards the track field below them. Tsuna had told him everything about the last few days, in search of someone who would understand his problems. The only thing he'd hidden was the 'rival Mafia family with a crazy girl shooting them', which had of course been Shimon themselves.

"To think it started here, when Reborn shot Hibari-san..." Tsuna muttered. As if on cue, the door leading back indoors slammed open, metal hinges screeching.

The raven-haired, cold-eyed leader of the Disciplinary Committee stepped outside, jacket on his shoulders rustling with the wind.

"Hi-Hibari-san!" Tsuna jumped, Enma tensing alongside him.

"Hn," the boy's lips barely moved as he stared them down across the entire roof. No one said a thing, hesitant and still to see what he was there for. Did Hibari want them to leave? Did he have something to say to Tsuna? The Vongola-leader-to-be gulped, remembering the last time he'd seen Hibari.

Suddenly exploding back to regular size, in nothing but a diaper and Mukuro's lap, he'd seen red as he tried to kill the spiky-haired illusionist. That was probably Hibari's way of getting over his embarrassment. Mukuro hadn't been able to come home until late last night, covered in bruises. Hibari, on the other hand, looked perfectly fine... _So scary. _

"Herbivore," the Cloud Guardian spoke up.

"Erm, which one?" Tsuna asked, babbling slightly in his worry. Thankfully, he was ignored.

"I recall the last week," Hibari stated. An awkward silence crossed the school rooftop, extending all the way up to the small clouds on the blue sky above them. He remembered... everything? As in becoming a baby, how he acted as a baby, snuggling up to Tsuna as a baby, demanding to sleep in the same room as Tsuna as a baby, diapers changed and fed, all as a baby? Tsuna felt weak.

"Despite your... temporary advantage..." Hibari began, looking away. He wore a more fierce and furious glare then usual, but it didn't quite match his words. "You did not take advantage of the opportunity."

"Opportunity? Temporary advantage?" Tsuna had no idea what he was talking about, as evident on his face.

"The Disciplinary Committee extends it's gratitude." His eyes were hidden under his hair as the boy glared even more at them, before turning on his heel and leaving.

"Wha- what was that about?" Tsuna pulled at his hair, wondering if he'd upset Hiabri-san somehow. That was the last thing he needed...

"Hahaha!" A rare smile from Enma, as he chuckled at the expression on his friends face. "He was thanking you."

"WHAT? No, nonononononononono, no." Tsuna waved his hands across, sure he'd gotten the wrong idea. "Hibari-san doesn't thank people!"

"He doesn't normally turn into a baby and depend on someone, either," Enma pointed out softly.

"Huh..." Tsuna leant back on the railing, considering it. Hibari... thanking someone? No, that was just him being hopeful.

As soon as he thought the word hope, he felt depressed again...

"I just... I feel alone when it comes to this lizard-thing. The other's just treat it like a game, going out trying to shoot Reborn or get their own Sexy bullet. I know it's not like it's life-or-death, but this could really mess things up... What if there's still two Gokuderas, and- and- and a cross dressing Lambo, during the inheritance ceremony? I haven't even decided what I'm going to say, and haven't been able to think about it yet..." Tsuna slumped forward, wondering what to do. The ceremony was just over a month away.

Enma remained silent, letting him finish.

"But even when all of that crazy stuff was happening, and I fought battles, Reborn was on my side. This time he's the one causing a lot of the trouble," the brunet frowned. "I understand, in a way... I mean, to be stuck in a babies body, and suddenly have the chance to mess with everyone and change their bodies, it must feel good. Combined with him normally being crazy and sadistic, it's kind of to be expected... but that still doesn't make it okay for him to cause so much trouble!" Enma nodded in agreement, red eyes calm and sympathetic. He'd had plenty of unconventional times in the Mafia as well, it seemed.

"So what are you going to do about it?"

"I..." Tsuna paused, unsure what to say. He really hadn't thought that far ahead. But if he wanted to see his Mama relax properly, and really bring things back to normal, he had to be the one to do something. Not his friends. Not Reborn. Tsuna.

"I have to stop Leon's mating season if I want Mama to be happy," he murmured. The realisation hit him like a sack of bricks. No longer would he just react to each bullet, reeling from discovery to surprise; he would take charge. Could he do it? No- no time for more doubt. His Mama was counting on him, even if she held a brave smile.

"How?" Enma turned to him, head tilted in curiosity. That single word seemed to loom over Tsuna, demanding from him. What _could_ he do?

"Enma-kun, please hand me your phone," Tsuna's voice was resolute, prepared for the worst. The bandaged boy handed it to him wordlessly, watching as Tsuna called a number.

"Hello, Adelheid? It's Tsuna. We... we need to talk again."

To be continued~

* * *

A/N: Tsuna's determination is clear and bold now, like the Lightning Ring I wore when writing this!

Ah, moving towards a plot-like structure now, instead of Tsuna just reeling from the after-effects of each bullet. Look forward to it! Also, check out Burnt Caramel Midi's KHR stories, since I bug her with ideas and beta help most weeks. Every favourite and review is loved~ Now, onto the omake.

* * *

Omake – the Dying Farm Bullet 2

_Tsuna was now a little bunny,_

_something the others found quite funny._

_Chrome from down the road had to cuddle every day;_

_he was too cute to stay away from, sweeter then honey. _

_One day he went to the lake, playing with Irie,_

_who'd become a duck, now able to swim and fly._

_While there they ran into an strange person-_

_emotionless like a robot, he'd never laugh or cry._

_The boy's name was Fran; was he the third shot by Reborn?_

_A giant frog hat sat on his head, as he crouched on a log._

_Eyes still, he explained this was how he was;_

_Reborn hadn't shot him, he was just part frog. _

_The others laughed and invited him to play,_

_however, Fran told them no._

_He saw Byakuran coming and started to hop away-_

_everyone had been warned of the man with hair of snow. _

_Except Tsuna and Irie it seemed;_

_they waved the newcomer along, happy and mellow._

_The scary man stood above them, eyes glinting with delight;_

_he was hungry at the moment, and rabbits were great for marshmallow. _

_Byakuran leaned in, lifting Tsuna by the ears,_

_Tsuna started to worry, wriggling his feet._

_'Tsuna!' cried Irie, worried about his friend-_

_what could they give him instead to eat?_

_Pop! A poof of smoke covered the lake;_

_Tsuna fell to the ground, Bykauran gone._

_Reborn smiled behind the bushes, laughing-_

_Byakuran was next to be shot, and had just become a swan._

_-To be continued-_


	10. Feel my Soul

Thanks so much for every favourite and alert guys. As I write this I have 69 alerts, which makes me feel incredibly loved. That many stalkers also makes me laugh my drink out of my nose, like a cool kid =w= I'll try and keep it up!

**iEXIST**: I have read Ouran, it was pretty good. I'd rather not be that kind of twin though... that'd be awkward. We look pretty different, clothing and hairstyle-wise, since he never takes care of his appearance XD I'll see what I can do with the TYL stuff, maybe a new omake. **Lulu-ichigo**: Thank you! There wouldn't be a point bringing them in if I wasn't going to shoot at least one *hint hint* **Toratoro**: Hahaha, brilliant XD I might use part of that! Hope no one else reads these ^^;; **Nichi Koneko**: Your review made my day~ I was wondering about shooting someone with both earlier, originally planned on shooting Dino like that. Then he'd be stuck as a girl, but for longer and with much more awkwardness. Still, I think people are happier I let Gokudera get shot that time, and it wouldn't be enough of a difference for me. As for Tsuna, we can only wait and see, although the word 'smex' made me laugh. **Boo i scare you**: Wow, that was a good review, glad I could help. I worried about him being OOC, but the idea was worth a shot. Yes, you did~ **SniperKingSogeking0341**: Bore you? O.O Sorry! I have a mini-arc focussing on the boxer later, but it's a fair while away. You can tell I have a focus on two characters in particular this chapter, hope they work for you for now. I box weekly myself, hopefully you trust me enough to be patient~ **doodle808**: That's pretty much the main problem, yeah XD If you think about it, getting a horny lizard to do it really shouldn't be such a big deal, but he's too wrapped up in his problems to see the lighter side in all this. **I-Kill-U-For-Yaoi**: XD Your reviews are always very... enthusiastic. I hope my updates are worthy of that praise! **Ezcap1st**: Yeah, this is sorta the start of a 2nd arc. Tsuna's going to be a lot more active in trying to solve this, although he's still Tsuna. **Yukirin-Sama**: I love that you love it~

* * *

"Adelheid?" Tsuna hoped she couldn't hear the gulp from his side of the phone, or the stammering. If only Enma's phone had been older; the top half flipped out, and it _shined_. She would hear him as well as if they were standing next to each other.

"...What is it?" Straight to the point, as always. Her voice was cold, the other side of the phone completely silent when she didn't speak. Tsuna looked up at the clouds sweeping past the sky, trying to focus on the deep shade of blue.

"We- We need to talk. About those lizards again."

"There is nothing else to consider."

"Yes there is!" Tsuna felt himself jump a little as he yelled- had he really just done that? He could picture the girl on the other side of the line raising one thin eyebrow, curious maybe but not intimidated. "Adelheid... my family needs to find a cure, er, a lizard for Leon. This is important."

"Are there no other lizards in the area?" She sounded like she was about to yawn, bored of him. Considering the lack of background noise, she was probably at home already, lying on a couch or bed.

"We haven't found any yet," Tsuna said evenly. He didn't mention that the sole person who'd been looking for other families with lizards for him had just turned into a girl- one that could only be described with words like perky or _bubbly-_ and had refused all contact with her original family since. This had halted the search for other lizards.

"I understand you want to keep a bullet for a while longer, for some reason," Tsuna opened his mouth again, trying to keep the conversation going. "But you already have one leftover from the first week of the mating season, right? What harm would it do if your lizard met Leon now?"

"It's extremely unlikely a pet as refined as the one the Shimon Famaglia care for would settle for a perverted creature like yours."

"_We're_ perverted? There's TWO Gokudera-kuns, and Chrome can't bend over without blushing!"

Well, Tsuna nearly said that. But no matter how obviously horny the little purple lizard was, he couldn't just aggravate Adelheid for no reason. Had to play this carefully...

"Well, we won't know until they meet. But if you're so sure she won't like Leon, you have nothing to be afraid of, right?"

"...Hm." Tsuna looked at the phone, exasperated. She was making this as hard as she could, wasn't she?

"So we'll come over and bring Leon sometime and see? It wouldn't hurt if the, erm, Vongola and Shimon strengthened ties by cross-breeding their lizards, right?" Fingers crossed as his free hand fidgeted. The Mafia card usually worked on people like Adelheid, didn't it?

"Fine," conceded the dark-haired middle school girl. Tsuna felt like jumping for joy, breath exploding out as he sighed in relief. He hadn't even noticed he was holding in his breath.

"I will see you and all of your guardians at the Shimon residence on Sunday evening. If- and only if- the lizards are attracted to each other, I will consider what to do then. Is that agreeable?" Adelheid's tone made it obvious that was all he'd get, as far as compromises went.

"Sure, thanks!" Tsuna's smile was shot as he heard the dial tone- she hadn't even waited to hear his response. Man, he was on thin ice with her.

He shut the phone with one hand, pressing it against his forehead as he knelt down. It was Wednesday, but at least he'd managed to make sure their lizards could meet eventually. He knew why she'd chosen that time, of course- Sunday was the earliest time for a new Sexy Bullet to come, so there was a chance she could shoot someone else his family. Adelheid seemed to be having fun with that.

"So... we were the ones shooting your family?" Enma looked up at him, expression wide.

_Oh shi-_

"Ah, Enma-kun!" Tsuna's hands waved frantically as he realised what he'd done. He'd just had that entire conversation in front of the diminutive red-head, despite promising to keep the Shimon's hormonal lizard a secret to their leader. "Ah, well, you see, Adelheid said to keep it a secret from you..." Enma said nothing at this, turning and staring across the rooftop. Tsuna couldn't tell if the wind was making his shirt ruffle like that, or if he was shaking slightly.

"Enma-kun?"

"She always does that." The boy's voice was subdued, almost a mumble.

"Does... what?"

"Hides things. Protects me." Tsuna wondered what he could say to that, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly.

"Well, she means well... Um, here," he gave Enma the phone back, fumbling it slightly. The boys shared a silence, looking out across the rooftop.

"I didn't mean to hide what she was doing from you, really," Tsuna apologised, but Enma remained silent. He usually was, but the brunet had prided himself on his ability to draw the shyer boy out of his shell. The two looked at each other, at a loss for words.

"I'll... make it up to you," he promised. "But I need to get moving if I want to start fixing things. With my friends, I mean." Enma nodded, but didn't say anything.

"Um..." Tsuna wondered what he could say. _This awkward tension..._ He'd hidden what Adelheid had been doing from the boy, and lied to him, yet he wasn't angry or sad. Enma-kun didn't seem to be feeling anything much, like he expected this...

"I'll see you tomorrow, maybe we can work on our homework, yeah?" Tsuna suggested, heading downstairs. Boy, he wished Enma had said something. They had only known each other for a little while, and already he'd let him down... ah.

But he had other problems as well.

Tsuna quickly made some calls on his way out of school. Gokudera (whichever one answered his phone) agreed to look into other Mafia families, asking and calling any of them if they had a spare shape-shifting lizard they could borrow. Dino had made it sound like the few lizards in the world had all been snapped up by rival Famaglias, for making weapons and things like the Dying Will Bullets. However, he wondered about that... surely a few were in the wild, or owned by people outside the scary world of the Mafia? Something else to look into.

Then, he quickly made two more calls, agreeing to meet people as he stepped onto the train. Normally he walked home, but today he had something else to take care of. The cold female voice announced the next stops as he sunk into his chair, resolve and weariness battling in his heart.

"Next stop, Kokuyo Land".

* * *

"Wait, so you only eat snacks and sweets for meals?" Diana lowered the top in her hands, inspecting Chrome with a thoughtful expression. Chrome turned red, trying to answer.

"Well, we don't have much gas to cook with, and Ken likes gum and lollies, and that sort of thing, so a lot of the time-"

"I'm so jealous!" Diana interrupted, smiling as she did so. "Even without the Bullet, you're really cute Chrome-chan! How come you're not fat with all those sweets?"

"Eh? Um, how should I know..." She just ate chocolate when she felt like it. It... it wasn't something Chrome had ever needed to worry about. Thinking for a moment, she realised some girls would call her very lucky for her powerful metabolism.

"Oh, try this one next," insisted the blonde, pushing Chrome out of her thoughts and into the changing rooms. They were still out shopping, the wealthy Mafia leader newly awoken to the joys of clothes shopping. Sure, Dino had enjoyed getting tailored suits that looked cool, but that was nothing compared to the range of shoes and handbags the mall offered.

Eyeing the clothing in her arms with suspicion, Chrome wondered if it was worth the trouble. Still, at least this stuff fit, and Diana seemed to enjoy making the violet-haired girl her own personal dress-up doll.

"But..." she opened her mouth to talk, unable to finish. The latest shirt was a deep shade of lavender, to go nicely with her hair. It also revealed about 4 inches more cleavage then Chrome usually had to show off, and did some funky frilly thing at the hem that was all weird.

"Hahaha! You're as red as a tomato!" Diana laughed as she watched, head suddenly through the curtains of the change room.

"G- get out!" Chrome shut her eyes, blushing furiously as she realised she'd been seen like that. Of course, this only encouraged the blonde, leaping in so she could pinch Chrome's cheeks.

"You're so shy I can't stand it," declared the Italian, smirking as Chrome tried to wriggle away.

Chrome was saved when the phone went off, ringtone snapping Diana out of her fun. She answered in a sudden business-like tone, efficiently short and to the point.

"Diana here." Chrome waited patiently, ears perking when she heard the next outburst. "Ooh! Tsuna-kun! What's up?" Diana began fiddling with her hair as she spoke, worryingly. "Uh-huh. Yeah, she's right here. I'll bring here right away!"

Was Boss after her? Chrome didn't have her own phone- she had never seen the point.

"Alrighty then, we'll meet you at-" the blonde turned quickly on her heel, pacing as she talked. Chrome idly wondered if she knew her hips were swaying like that as she walked- Dino made a better girl then her, it seemed.

"No? Aww. Okay, I'll be back at the house." Diana pouted for a second, before her usual infectious grin was back. Some things never changed, male or female.

"Okay, you have to go to Kokuyo Land now Chrome-chan!"

"Ehh? Why?" One thought of Ken and Chikusa seeing her like she was... Chrome wanted to sit down.

"I dunno. But your shy little Tsuna-kun wants to meet you and Mukuro there later tonight, so we'd better finish up here."

"Finish up?" They hadn't decided on anything she was comfortable with, and her borrowed clothes felt tighter than ever now that she'd tried things made for her new figure- which happened to be Hourglass, otherwise known as the measurements 37-21-33".

"Let's get going!" Diana pulled Chrome by the arm, as she wondered what Boss had planned.

* * *

Outside Tsuna's house. Yamamoto was going through swings and motions- some light baseball exercises. His bat weighed nothing, almost a part of him. It was an extension of his own body, not a mere tool in his hands. Sudden tension in his fists; the boy tightened his grip and swung, an audible echo wavering through the air as the metal flew across with speed.

"You have until Sunday." A high-pitched voice chided him. "Go practice somewhere else." Yamamoto turned, grinning back at the suited baby watching him.

"Ah, but you lied with the dates before, so the last bullet came early, right?"

"You saw it come yesterday, on Tuesday." Reborn pointed out, gesturing with his gun towards Yamamoto. He didn't deny he'd tricked them then? "So you know a Moe Bullet won't appear until Sunday the earliest."

"Be that as it may, I'd rather one of was watching you at all times. You've done the impossible before, after all." He turned and lifted his bat off his shoulder, preparing to practice again.

Tsuna's backyard was rather small for practising in, but Reborn couldn't be allowed to do whatever he felt like. This lizard business was tricky stuff, he mused.

"Where's the Tenth!" an irritating voice suddenly broke the peace, stomping through the house and shoving the back door open with a clack. "Tenth?"

"He hasn't come back- it's just us", Yamamoto smiled warmly at Gokudera, setting him off.

"Well, where is he? I can't even find anyone reliable, since you and that stupid cow are the only ones here," grumbled the Strom Guardian, crossing his arms as he headed out onto the porch, scowling against the sun when it hit his eyes.

"Chrome and Dino, or Diana as she insists, are still out shopping. Tsuna called Mukuro out somewhere a little while ago, when school finished," the taller teen explained. Gokudera merely scowled at his helpfulness, lighting up a cigarette.

"Listen, this is important. He got me- as his right-hand man- to call around and check who else had lizards in the Mafia."

"Oh?" Yamamoto found himself leaning forward, curious what he had to say. "You found one?"

"No! Most of their leaders weren't even answering." The silver-haired teen said this as if it were obvious. "But guess who's arriving early in town for the ceremony?"

"Um...," The baseballer rested his chin on the end of his bat, thinking hard.

"The Varia?"

"Geh- don't ruin my surprise!"

"But they're one of the only Mafia groups we know," he pointed out innocently.

"Baseball idiot. When they're here we can use them to help get rid of this lizard problem, since they answer to the Tenth! Problem solved!"

"I'm not sure that's how it'll work out..."

"Pfft, you're just being weak. Do you have any better ideas?" Yamamoto looked him in the eye, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"Well... I wonder if I could shoot Squalo in a fair match..."

"This isn't just some training game! Damn it, you should care more about protecting the family from getting shot." Yamamoto laughed at this.

"So I should get shot like you to make sure Tsuna isn't hit?"

"I'm saying you should take this seriously!"

A small cough interrupted their fight, both boys turning to Reborn. He was sitting on the steps, drinking a coffee with a smirk on his lips.

"What day do the Varia get here? Answer when spoken to," he added, prompting Gokudera to talk.

"They were already on their way, so they'll be here by the weekend, Reborn-san!" Gokudera looked mildly panicked as he spoke to the homicidal Arcobaleno.

"Interesting..." The baby looked down into the swirling darkness of his coffee for a moment. It was black, like he always took it.

"You can go back to bickering now," he mentioned, hopping up as he made his way inside.

"Damn... it feels like he has something up his sleeve." Gokudera looked suspiciously towards the hitman's retreating back.

"I know what you mean. Think the Varia have a lizard?"

"Of course not!" Gokudera retorted.

"Alright, alright, just an idea," Yamamoto laughed him off. He wondered if Xanxus and the others would want to use any of the Moe and Sexy Bullets? Someone like Mammon would have found a way to make money out of them, but it was hard to see some of the others turned 'cute' or 'sexy'. Just like Reborn had said, interesting...

* * *

Tsuna gulped. The entrance to Kokuyo Land loomed threateningly across his vision. He'd been the only one to get off the train, the abandoned amusement park the end of the line. It was one of the few places Tsuna had ever seen that actually warranted use of the word 'derelict'. Wilderness and empty land surrounded the large structure, broken windows and crumbling stairways a testament to the ravages of time.

Or to Ken's housekeeping skills, possibly. Either way, waiting out the front of the place was a scary prospect. He had to mentally remind himself of his Mama, and how much they needed to return his house to normal for her sake. If a home could physically burst from overcrowding, his had hit that point a week ago.

Tsuna gulped again, trying not to jump when what might have been a mouse scurried past. _How does Chrome live here?_ Obviously she wasn't as pampered as he was, although he wondered what her upbringing was like. She didn't look like she'd lived as a runaway before, although her childhood obviously hadn't been as cushy as his own.

Another rustling sound; was this place filled with mice? Man, he already wanted a shower, and he hadn't even stepped inside. But it probably wasn't _that_ bad-

"Mrrf!" Tsuna felt a clammy hand close over his mouth- someone was behind him! He tried to yell, but it was no good. He was violently pushed to the ground, his captor taller and stronger. What was going to happen to him?

* * *

Chrome thanked the taxi driver, grateful for Diana's kindness. She'd rather have caught a train to Kokuyo, and not wasted any more of the blonde's money then she had to, but she'd been insistent. Diana had put her hands on her hips, looking ever the part of a twenty-two year-old woman as her scarf rolled behind her shoulder in the wind. As she'd pointed out- multiple times- her figure might not be as large as Chrome's had suddenly become, but she still turned a head or two while they were out.

"I made you late- it's really no big deal. Now take the money and hail a cab."

"That's not it... I, I don't feel that comfortable-" Chrome had mumbled, head down.

"It's fine; I'd be insulted if you didn't take the money." Diana patted her on the back, missing her point. "Just think of it as a gift to Tsuna-kun, so you don't keep him waiting. We both owe him, after all."

Chrome hadn't been able to tell the Chiavarone boss the real reason for her discomfort, meekly accepting the wad of bills into her purse. How did you avoid sounding ungrateful while complaining about something just bought for you? But the thought of being alone in a car with a strange person (Indian man, if what she'd heard about taxis held true in Japan) was a little frightening. Worse was the thought of being alone while dressed in her new clothes- a tight denim mini-skirt, white blouse with frills, a half-jacket in deep shades of blue and pumps that were surprisingly easy to walk in, despite making her feel like she was going to fall twenty feet to the ground if she tripped. It was hard to say she looked _bad_ exactly, but Diana was a lot more casual about wearing revealing clothes then she was. Typical guy.

And so, thanks to the blonde, she had been driven late to see Boss at Kokuyo land. Would Chikusa and Ken see her like this? The sudden thought made her blush. _Oh god, Ken! _The violet-haired girl stepped out of the taxi, handing the surprisingly female taxi driver the amount, looking around idly. Boss said he'd wait outside, right? As she walked her hair swished behind her, tickling her back. She hadn't realised it was so long since the Sexy Bullet, but then it was hardly a major aspect of her transformation. Diana had insisted she wear it down, giving her white ribbons that tied it back nicely. That irked her, actually.

Chrome sat down on the stairs that led up to the building she called home, changing her hair as she waited. The rest she could live with, but Chrome really preferred it when her hair matched Mukuro-sama's, tied back in a cute little pineapple shape. Not that he would refer to it as such. But to have it down... was far too close to how 'Nagi' had looked, before. Before she risked her life for that kitten, and was hit by traffic. Before a tragedy that turned into a blessing in disguise, leading to her new life. She wondered how different things would be, if she hadn't been naive enough to run out and try to rescue that kitty... Or was it strong of her, to try and save it when no one else would? Thinking like that hurt her head. She looked up at the setting sun, wondering how long she had to herself before Boss arrived. Would he bring Mukuro-sama, as well?

Mukuro-sama... how long could he stay a butler? As great as it was seeing him around, he'd probably be taken back to prison the moment he returned to normal. Reborn really was strange, breaking into such a powerful prison just to do something like that- how powerful was the baby, exactly? Surely breaking into the Vendicare prison and escaping with a high-class captive would have resulted in massive damage, resulting in the death of dozens of guards or allowing other prisoners the chance to escape. Reborn would probably be blacklisted immediately for committing such a crime against the Mafia, his Arcobaleno status- and position with the Vongola- in peril.

Chrome pulled her legs closer together, shivering. She could picture the suited Arcobaleno doing all of that with a smile, just so he could shoot Mukuro with a Moe Bullet. But no. That was insane. She was just scaring herself- there had to be a different way he'd accomplished such a miracle. Right? She was missing something; Chrome would just have to ask Reborn later if he had negotiated a deal with the guards. Please let that be it. Her fear heightened her senses- she could practically hear her beloved illusionist talking right now.

Wait.

"Mukuro-sama?" Chrome was up before she knew what she was doing, climbing two stairs for every beat of her racing heart. She looked side-to-side frantically- where was that coming from? She headed past the main entrance, towards the bushes that lined the path.

"Mukuro-sama!" What was going on here? Boss was lying on the ground, brown hair messed up even more than usual. The older teen was hunched over him, watching him sleep with a deep smile on his handsome features. "Um..."

"Ah, my Chrome, there you are." The other Mist Guardian glanced towards her, gesturing towards Tsuna. "Do you think the master will be pleased?" Chrome tilted her head in confusion, before realising Tsuna was trapped in an illusion. He was twitching and mumbling, and the grin on his face was somewhere between 'goofy' and 'perverted'.

"Um, did Boss ask for an illusion?"

"Sharp girl. Not at all, although he'll thank me for it in the morning."

"M-morning?" Chrome looked on, wondering what kind of illusion he'd used. The man was barely looking at her, obviously more interested in Tsuna.

"I'll give him a perfect night with my 'real' illusions. The young master will surely be pleased, and will give me anything I want after that, even his body." He said this calmly with a smile, eyes shut, as if it were a perfectly normal request. _Just what was in that illusion!_

"Ahh...," Tsuna rolled over strangely, hands grabbing the ground as he faced it. "Kyoko-chan..." Oh. Chrome watched awkwardly, really glad the vision wasn't shown to anyone beyond Tsuna.

"And Haru too... and Lal-Mirch-san, you look so nice when you smile like that..." His relaxed voice sounded perfectly at bliss, as if Tsuna were having an amazing dream.

"I don't think this is why Boss called us out here, Mu-Mukuro-san."

"But he seems to be okay with it, no?" Rokudo Mukuro winked with his lone eye, affectionately rubbing the boy's cheek with a gloved hand. Should she stop it?

Tsuna rolled over again, a small bead of drool hanging from his lip.

"Oh, Chrome-chaaaaan..."

"Eek!" Chrome jumped, skin crawling. A gleaming metal trident was in her hands in an instant, her own illusions surrounding the brunet. In a moment Tsuna was sitting up, blinking wearily as reality restored itself around him.

"Now why would you do such a thing?" Mukuro turned towards Chrome, looking directly at her for the first time.

"Um... Sorry, Mukuro-sama," Chrome felt like crawling away and hiding. Had she just stopped Mukuro- the man who saved her life?

"Uh! I, I tripped and fell asleep. Sorry!" Tsuna hurriedly got to his feet, not noticing the exchange between the two in his panic. "I was having such a strange dream... what was it again?" The young Vongola leader shook his head, a curious gaze in his eyes. Mukuro's Cheshire smile grew even larger at that, as Chrome stiffened next to them on the path. "Anyway, I called you both here, because things need to change at home."

"Whatever the master requires," Mukuro bowed as they spoke, his tone suggesting he meant the opposite. Change? Chrome found herself holding her breath, wondering what he was about to say. If Tsuna and Mukuro both agreed on something, there was no doubt in Chrome's mind she would do as they said.

"I need," Tsuna paused as he took a breath, his nervousness spreading to the thirteen-year-old girl. "For you both to-"

"Mukuro-sama?" A rough voice interrupted, as two figures leaped down from a window to join them. A tall boy with glasses and a beanie, as well as one with wild blonde hair and a grin too big for his mouth; Chikusa and Ken, Mukuro's main followers since childhood. "When did you get back-byon!" Ken ran up to Mukuro, as if he didn't believe he was real.

"And Chrome..." Chikusa's colder voice trailed off as he appraised the two, his eyebrows narrowing as he saw them.

"Wait, I can explain!" Tsuna tried to sound confident in front of the two boys. Holding up his hands, he began, "Mukuro's only out for a little while, while the Moe Bullet Reborn used is in effect."

"...Moe Bullet?" Chikusa eyed Tsuna over his glasses, intrigued. Ken was slightly less rational.

"Mukuro, are we going to attack anyone? When did you get here? What's with the suit? Hey, want me to take care of the shorty here for you?" Chrome giggled at his enthusiasm, a smile on her lips.

"Oh, hey Chro- WOAH." Ken's head swivelled towards the girl, mouth hanging open. Tsuna gulped. Looks like he'd noticed what had happened.

"Well, see, Chrome was also shot the day after, with th- the Sexy Bullet. It shouldn't last too long, but well, as you can see..." Tsuna's voice slowly died as the tension increased. The horizontal scar above Ken's nose was perfectly still as he continued to stare, gone into shock as he faced the now much more curvaceous girl. Chikusa was stoic and silent as he often was, and Mukuro was merely smiling that usual predator smile as he watched. Chrome herself was fidgeting, her blush a more vibrant red then the last of the sun behind her. Tsuna's voice wimbled on quietly, desperately trying to break the silence.

"See, um, these lizards are ready to mate, so I guess the bullets are like Viagra, to help them find a mate, or maybe that makes it more like wearing a short skirt to get attention, except Leon's a guy lizard, so he probably wouldn't wear one to find a girl lizard, well I guess they don't wear anything at all... lizards..."

Tsuna's voice died out. A breeze ruffled Ken's spiked hair, startling him out of his stupor.

"Chrome..." The violet-haired girl jumped at his words, suddenly stiff.

"Ye-yes!"

"You... look..." Ken suddenly realised his nose was bleeding from the effect, turning and wiping it furiously on Chikusa's shirt.

"Get off of me!" the boys struggled for a moment, Ken falling onto the taller boy in his panic. Chrome stuttered, arms folded across her chest as she struggled to react. It was exactly at this moment when the Sexy Bullet wore off.

Poof!

Tsuna's instantly turned away, hoping his tiny back was enough to shield Chrome from the other two teens. Chrome's skirt had snugly fit her wider hips- it had just fallen to her knees, her blouse suddenly noticeably open around the chest.

"Chrome-chan!" Tsuna's face was pale, his sympathies out to the poor girl. Chikusa and Tsuna struggled between them, supporting a still-shocked Ken as they stopped him turning from turning around. The boy was practically in heat for her as it was- the last thing he needed was to see her panties. Tsuna listened behind him carefully, wondering what was happening. He was pretty sure Chrome had tripped in her new shoes at this point, but Mukuro still seemed to be back there.

"Chrome? Tell me if Mukuro's there! I... I fought him once! I'll do it again if I have to!" Tsuna squeaked, panic rising through his very male hormones.

"I'll... I'll help if I have to!" Cried Chikusa, surprising him.

"Kakipi, let go! What the hell was with that explosion? And, Chrome... woah..." Ken struggled, barely contained as they wrested his sights away from the girl.

But she still hadn't answered Tsuna... was she okay? Tsuna risked a tiny peek, face up towards the sky as he looked over his shoulder. From the corner of his eye, he could see Chrome and Mukuro together. What the?

* * *

Chrome was pressed tightly against Mukuro's frame, her slender body hidden from view thanks to him. His suit jacket was over her shoulders, covering her mercifully down to mid-thigh. This was the Mukuro-sama she knew... The others all thought she was following someone who planned to kill her, someone who saw her as a mere tool. But Mukuro was no different to her- she'd risked her life to save that stray kitten, and he was doing the same right now. No matter the evidence he was using her, or the claims Rokudo Mukuro himself had made about wanting to destroy the Mafia, Chrome had faith in the man. On these steps Ken, Chikusa and herself- strays the world didn't need- had been gathered, _saved_.

"Mukuro-sama..." she whispered, tears welling in her eyes.

"Hush, Nagi," the navy-haired man smiled at her as he spoke, a smile that reached his eyes.

"Chrome!" Chikusa's voice pierced the mood, shattering the ethereal silence she had been wrapped in. "Are you an illusionist or not? Hurry up and clothe yourself before this mutt humps your leg!"

"Ehhh?" Tsuna smiled sheepishly; how come he hadn't thought of that? The boys turned to see a relieved Chrome, back in her Kokuyo uniform- or so it seemed to their senses.

"Um... good idea, Chikusa-kun," she bowed as she spoke. "So, Boss, you ah, wanted to say something?"

"I- I just wanted to see if you and Mukuro could live here, and help Mama relax a little, that's all!" Tsuna was having trouble looking at her.

"Young Master, I could not abandon my post as your ward," Mukuro began to protest gently, before the others spoke up.

"Like hell you're going anywhere! You haven't even explained what's going on!" Ken roared as well as one of the animals he transformed into during battle.

"Boss, really? Now that I'm normal, that'd be amazing! Mukuro-sama, you could live here for now!" Chrome's grip on his arm tightened.

"Well, let us know if anything happens, you can have fun explaining to them what's been going on." Tsuna started waving, walking quickly away from the four remaining members of the Kokuyo gang, squinting as he turned to face the sun. "I'll see you on Sunday, Chrome! We have another meeting with Adelheid then!" Chrome blinked, puzzled as he hurried away, but happy enough not to worry as Tsuna practically ran.

The boy paused, loosening his school uniform as he breathed in deeply, now back at the bus stop near Kokuyo Land. He'd properly settle things with Chrome later, when he was less... flustered. That scene back there had been so awkward, he wasn't sure he could cope.

"Still," he panted, a small smile on his lips. "Two down in one day. Things are going back to normal." Tsuna's moment of peace lasted an entire minute, before a small beeping sound alerted him to a test message.

The message read:

Tsuna-chan! It's been ages, we should catch up! ^.^ Oh, I got your message about the lizards, how awesome. I have one too! We should totally introduce them, it's made life fun around here for us XD Text me back, 'kay?

-Longchamp

Tsuna stared at the display, eyes wide. Another lizard in town... and another chance for them to get shot. Things were far from over!

* * *

Written while wearing: the Sun Ring, to match the moods I was in writing this.

A/N: Ah, nearly 2 weeks since my last update, no omake this time, and no oneshot in the chapter, I fail at life. Why is Kokuyo so hard to spell for me? Hopefully the turns in the plot please some of you, please let me know if the Varia coming, the upcoming meeting with Adelheid, Longchamp's intro, or anything else pleased you. At least this one was my longest chapter yet~ Huge thanks go out to Midi, for beta work on a monster written at 5am. I'll try to update next week, but university life and a new Pokémon game conspire against us all. Thanks for reading!


	11. Ruido

**Senna-Namikaze**: Wow, what great timing~ Thanks heaps for the praise, I always wonder what my writing style is like to other people. I have little idea, I'm too close to it ^^;; **Kichou**: Thanks, hope this is soon enough~ **doodle808**: Mukuro is pretty shifty... Well, once the bullet wears off he goes back to prison, so it sounds like something he'd do... Haha, Longchamp likes girls- he's always been a player. Thanks for reviewing! **ezcap1st**: I wouldn't put the Varia in if I didn't have ideas, don't worry~ Doubt I could shoot all of them, though. Not sure what you mean about Mukuro- he just enjoys messing with Tsuna, what's Hibari got to do with it? Thanks ^^ **Fitha**: Thanks for your lovely words! I hope it's not *that* slow paced, and that question is answered in the author's notes below. **DemonicAngel96**: He'd just become Giotto XD I kid, I kid. **SniperKingSogeking0341**: Aww, yeah, hope you like what I do. Well, Longchamp's going to have another bullet as well thanks to his lizard ;D **Boo I scare you**: D'aww, thanks. I've answered some of those before, but I've got an FAQ at the bottom of this chapter to help you guys out~ I haven't shot someone in 2 chapters, I can't wait to shoot someone else! **Lulu-ichigo**: I know, right? Longchamp was one of my favourites, can't believe they got rid of him from the anime. Hope you like what I do with Xanxus! **Animefan514**: All gasms are good, glad to hear it! **iEXIST**: I had a lot of fun planning that, hopefully it works out well. Yeah, Gokudera's a little naiive if he thinks Xanxus and co will do whatever they say, huh? The reality will be pretty different, don't worry. Well, he should still look like me- I'm a guy as well D: **alexx06**: Thanks! Hope you keep liking it~ **sweetness4the heart**: Hahaha, I love getting that kind of reaction out of people. Glad you like the story!

* * *

Tsuna hugged himself by the bus stop, trying to stay calm. Longchamp had a shape-shifting lizard of his own! The guy was, well, _unconventional_ at times, but he was also one of the nicest Mafia leaders Tsuna had met, and one of the most likely to want to help him out. His foot tapped impatiently against the side of the gravel road, the minutes stretching by. It was starting to get dark when the bus came by, taking him back near his house. But even as he shuffled towards the very back of the bus, securing a window seat, his phone remained silent.

Strange... he'd fired off his reply straight away, eager and excited to see the boy for once. The future Tomaso leader had forgotten to mention some details, like what gender his lizard actually was, and Tsuna really wanted to meet him soon if it was a female. But if it was just another male Moe Bullet factory then he really didn't need the extra trouble and risk. _What if his family has all been shot already and he just wants extra targets? _Tsuna shook his head; he shouldn't be so quick to judge his friends. Even if it was Longchamp.

Biting his lip, Tsuna could only dwell on his thoughts as he walked the rest of the way home from the stop, phone silent. Trust him to be unreliable as a time like this! He could just picture the spiky-haired teen texting Tsuna before he went out, leaving his phone on the couch and not receiving the reply at all. Well, hopefully he'd hear from him soon...

The night passed markedly more peaceful then Tuesday had, although Tsuna's Mama was still spending a good ten thousand yen a week more then she needed to just to feed everyone. The exception to this was Diana, who was such a light-weight she'd only touch her salads, and was somehow existing on less food then Lambo. This was proven when she nearly fell asleep on the couch, and pleaded sleepily with Tsuna to carry her up to her second-floor room. Amid awkward blushing- _oh god did she just press her chest into my back again why oh why no that shouldn't feel good at all make her stop make her stop!- _Tsuna remarked that he was able to lift her with only mild struggling and clumsiness. For a woman in her early twenties, that was kind of amazing- the boy's arms normally hurt after carrying Lambo and I-pin at the same time.

Slowly but surely, things were starting to return to normal. Gokudera and Diana still needed convincing to head to their own homes and risk bumping into themselves/ their family while shot as they were, but at least they were both friendly towards Tsuna.

Sometimes a little too friendly, it must be said.

* * *

Things seemed normal enough on Friday morning, as Tsuna and one of the Gokudera's headed to school. The sun was overcast with several clouds, signalling an incoming storm. Tsuna found himself unconsciously giving this a hidden meaning, reading far too much into the significance of the weather then he used to. The Mafia world was starting to get to him if Tsuna couldn't even look up without seeing his friends and family foreshadowed in the sky.

"...Tenth?" Tsuna blinked, turning to his scowling friend.

"Sorry, Gokudera-kun?"

"I was saying you should come with me and Haru to the movies after school tomorrow!" The silver-haired teen seemed pleased with the idea.

"On a school night? Wait, why are you and Haru going to the movies together?" The brunet was taken aback.

"Pfft, I dunno. I said something about trying to get another Sexy Bullet, and she wanted to go 'congratulate me' and relax for a while together, before we think up the next plan. Weirdo." Gokudera said this casually, as if he hadn't realised how _utterly and totally date-like _that sounded. Tsuna was amazed.

"But, er, I thought Haru liked me?" Tsuna pointed at himself sheepishly, the words foreign to his tongue.

"'course she does. You're the Tenth- everyone likes you!"

"That's not what I meant...," Tsuna muttered, wondering if he was reading things wrong. Wait, there were more important things to worry about. "So it'll just be you two and me?"

"Yeah. The other me gets to stay home, lucky bastard. He's the one who talked to her and let it happen in the first place," grumbled Gokudera. Tsuna would be the third wheel! Oh god.

"Could, could I bring someone else?" he cautiously enquired, knowing Haru would want a chance for one-on-one time with Gokudera, if he was right about this. If.

"Sure, the more the merrier!" A good-natured grin bounced back. This felt just like one of their old adventures, the kind of ordinary day that spiralled out of control the moment half his new 'family' showed up and wrecked a building or two. The thing was, if it really was a date Gokudera had unwittingly agreed to, who could Tsuna bring?

First thought: Kyoko-chaaaaaaan~

Second thought: no way, anyone but her! Tsuna could think of very few things that could derail time with Kyoko faster then his friends, and Haru's presence would probably lead every conversation back to cake and the children. Ugh. Patting his fist lightly against his forehead as he walked, Tsuna wondered who else he could bring. Yamamoto was good in social situations, but he always seemed to rub Gokudera the wrong way. Big brother was a little too 'extreme' for the movies, and Chrome had only just gotten home- she deserved at least one day of normalcy. Everyone else in his family was either a baby or homicidal, though...

As they passed the school gates, a downcast red-headed boy was busy inspecting a fresh bruise.

"Enma-kun, are you alright?" Tsuna ran to his side, helping the boy up. The Shimon leader's silence told it all; he'd been victim to yet another bullying incident. They walked into the halls of the main building together, Gokudera getting sidetracked when an ambitious class president attempted to tell him off for smoking indoors. As he hurled abuse back at the poor guy, an idea sparked in Tsuna's mind.

"Hey, Enma-kun," he spoke cheerfully, hoping he could be heard over the noise. "Did you want to come to the movies with me tomorrow?"

Something shined in his scarlet eyes, before Enma quickly looked away. That sounded like a yes to Tsuna, although it was hard to tell.

"Enma-kun?" His head bowed slowly, before nodding back up. "Ah, I'll meet you after school then!" Tsuna waved his farewells, hoping it wouldn't be too much of a pain for the boy. He hadn't forgotten yesterday, when Enma found out he was lying about Shimon's bullet- the guilt gnawed at his stomach whenever he looked at his friend. Hopefully he wasn't still mad.

Tsuna's thoughts were dashed to the roadside when his phone went off- a call from Longchamp!

"H-hello?" Tsuna's fingers fumbled as he took the call. This could be the end of all of his troubles!

"Sawada-chan! What's up?" The overwhelmingly boisterous voice on the other side of the line- never before had he been so happy to hear it!

"Longchamp-kun, you really have a shape-changing lizard?"

"Yup, yup! You wanna come over to my place and see if they hit it off?"

"Um, sure!" Tsuna gulped, quickly angling a piece of paper against the wall with his elbow as he listened to rapid-fire directions and tried to write the way to Longchamp's down. It seemed they had moved, when rebuilding their home had proven too much trouble.

"So, see ya today after school?" Longchamp's enthusiasm was obvious through the phone. He must have been eager to end the bullet's chaos if he invited Tsuna that very day.

"Wait, wait, you didn't even say whether your lizard is a girl, and I haven't seen you at school in months! Are you sure-"

"Haha, peace, peace!" He could see the spiky-haired teen waving his hands aside, completely care-free to his points. "That stuff can wait for later, I gotta end the call in a sec to save credit! Now I won't be able to text for a whole day, y'know?"

"Wait, _that's_ why you didn't answer my message for a day? That's not how credit works, Longchamp-kun!" Tsuna stared at the phone, sweat dripping down the back of his neck. He thought he could only use his phone once a day to save credit? This guy was as peculiar as always...

"Bye-niiiiiiii!" The phone went dead. And sure enough, he wouldn't answer Tsuna's own calls back. Guess they'd just have to risk visiting him later today.

* * *

Tsuna gulped, eyeing his companions cautiously. Walking through a quiet, traditional suburb, they were attempting to decipher Tsuna's notes and find the Tomaso family home. Yamamoto was currently holding the paper up to the sun, laughing as his turn to follow the scrawled directions failed miserably. Gokudera (only one of them today) was busy scowling and glaring at Lambo. Before they'd left Tsuna's place, getting changed after school, Lambo had leaped down the stairs and fly-kicked Gokudera into his doppelgänger. Cue ten seconds of removing each other's shirts, hands tight against the twin Smoking Bomb's chests.

"I'm gonna kill you, stupid five-year-old!" Gokudera roared.

"Gokudera-kun, please don't yell such things in public," Chrome admonished. Tsuna looked around, glad the streets were quiet.

But their group was rowdy enough that probably no one heard the Storm Guardian at all, particularly over one girl's high-pitched squeals and one man's roaring.

The man, to start with the scariest, was Xanxus. God Tsuna felt weird letting the man walk behind him- _what if if tried to attack now_? But no, his hyper intuition agreed that wasn't going to happen, for now. Xanxus, along with the rest of the Varia group, had apparently arrived in Japan this morning. Him and Belphegor- the blond with the creepy smile and the knives- had arrived at Tsuna's house this morning to 'pay their respects to the Tenth'. As far as Tsuna could tell, this entailed scaring him at his home and letting him know he wasn't fit for the Vongola, and should step down before the ceremony's preparations were under way. As charming as ever...

In between Bel's insistence 'we will always be the Ninth's Varia', and Gokudera and Ryohei's enthusiastic counter-arguments (Tsuna could beat you all any day!), Reborn _had_ to chime in.

"Well," he'd begun as he landed on Xanxus's head, unfazed by the sharp scowl or hair that went past his stomach. "Tsuna is already meeting a fellow Mafia leader today, to strengthen ties between the Vongola and young Tomaso leader."

"It-it's nothing like that!" Tsuna shook his hands back and forth uselessly.

"Quit being modest, dame-Tsuna," Reborn had mocked him. "Care to see him in action, and base his worth as a Mafia leader from that?"

And so, Xanxus and Bel had tagged along to come see Longchamp. Tsuna hadn't worked up the nerve to tell them about the Dying Moe Bullet yet, imaging the scorn and laughter he would get in return. Still, in a way they were doing what Reborn said- hadn't the Tomaso and Vongola been enemies, before Longchamp made friends with him? That was kinda pushing it though...

Bel and Ryohei were currently butting heads, loudly and sarcastically respectively, as they argued what the 'true sport' of the Mafia was. Tsuna was pretty sure the Prince had meant it metaphorically, when he said hunting down targets was a true sport, but that didn't stop either one of them taking the debate seriously. Their group took up the entire path- this was such a quiet, almost rural area of Namimori, all old trees and birds playing before they came here. Oh well.

Possibly drawn by Xanxus's own powerful presence, Hibari had actually joined them for a Mafia meeting, walking a few steps behind everyone else. Diana had gone nuts at seeing her ex-pupil, blushing even deeper then Kyoko when she saw Tsuna in his Dying Will mode- and his boxers- for the first time. The glaring teen didn't seem to recognise her, fortunately, but Diana was surely pushing her luck as she chatted away to the silent Cloud Guardian, having somehow forced him into carrying the blonde in a piggy-back. Hibird- observant enough to recognise an old friend- had settled down in her long hair, which was probably what had spared Diana the pain anyone else would go through after hugging Hibari and calling him 'so cool'.

The only person missing was Mukuro, although Tsuna wasn't going to complain if that man never showed up in his life again.

And finally, Reborn was quizzing him about the rest of his family, as Leon and the baby idly rode on the back of his head.

"What does Ryohei put on his pancakes?"

"Ehh, what?" Tsuna rubbed the back of his head, barely shaken out of his thoughts. "...Butter?"

"Baka." Kick. "Your Sun Guardian has never eaten pancakes."

"How should I know that?"

"You should know your family better by now- your life depends on these people. Yamamoto's favourite soccer player?"

"Don't you mean baseball?" Kick. "Oww... Reborn!"

"Hey, we're here!" Yamamoto's cheerful spirits were like a spring breeze among the group. Everyone fell silent for a moment as Gokudera checked the untidy map against the street they were in.

"I... I think we are," the surprised teen said. Tsuna looked across at the large fence- a high gate blocked all entrance to their compound. Longchamp's entire family must live here... The tip of a traditionally-tiled house could be seen poking above the gate, the smell of flowers strong. It looked like they just bought an old mansion, rather then bother rebuilding anything after all.

Considering the noise they made, Tsuna wasn't surprised to see the gate opening, a thin man coming to greet them.

"Vongola," he said stiffly. "We have been expecting you." He turned, immediately giving them the cold shoulder as he led them in. What was his name again...? Tsuna frowned. The guy was Longchamp's right-hand-man, looked forty, and wore a hat and suit.

"Psst, Yamamoto," Tsuna nudged his friend, signalling they should head to the back of the group.

"What's up?" The taller boy also spoke in a conspiratorial whisper, although he was probably just joining in for fun.

"What's that guys name again? The tall one?"

"Oh, um..." Yamamoto frowned for a moment, stopping in his tracks. Tsuna looked around at the shining wooden floor, the pale wallpaper and important-looking paintings on the wall. Nothing in the entrance gave him a clue...

"Man... something," he finally decided.

"That sounds right!" Yamamoto's fist hit the palm of his hand. "It was Mangusta!"

"Yeah, you're right!" Tsuna breathed out deeply. It would have been awkward if they'd forgotten everyone here... Oh. "Um, you wouldn't remember his other family members, would you?" A slight frown from Yamamoto.

"There was the girl with the dress..."

Tsuna joined in. "And the short guy..."

They both came to the exact same conclusion: "I have no idea!" Laughing, they headed back up the hallway regardless. They'd fallen behind- Tsuna wondered where the rest of the group was. How did they not notice Tsuna was gone? Still, in that noise it must have been easy to overlook him- he knew he was overstating how loud they were, but really- any group with Xanxus, Ryohei and Lambo in a room would be heard by ants on the moon. Don't ask him how there could be ants on the moon. It just made sense in his head. His thoughts continued idly like that for a while, as Yamamoto chose hallways at random and continued closer to what would be a main room. Following the sound of yelling they eventually arrived in a sitting room storing old furniture, windows shut providing a subdued gloom.

Straining his eyes against the dark, the brunet was surprised to see Chrome standing in there alone, eyeing a dusty mirror by the wall. She was looking her figure up and down, with a slight tilt on her lips, a wistful expression in her eye.

"Ahahaha!" Yamamoto burst into good-natured laughter as her saw her, the violet-haired girl jumping with surprise.

"I thought everyone was already ahead...," she mumbled. Yamamoto's response was more direct:

"Ah, I thought you didn't like being shot with the Sexy Bullet at first?"

"W-what? I do! I mean- I didn't!" Chrome began to stutter, face turned away.

"Maa maa, it's okay Chrome." Yamamoto winked knowingly. Chrome scrunched up her face as she pouted in his direction, pushing Yamamoto over the threshold into the next room.

"Come on, the others will be waiting!" He merely laughed back, a cheesy grin on his features. What... what had just happened? Tsuna wasn't sure he understood everything they had just been talking about at all, as he followed behind the two. How did Yamamoto get along with others so easily?

As if suddenly a mind-reader, the jovial Rain Guardian turned and smiled back at Tsuna.

"My dad's not just knowledgeable about sushi and the sword, y'know." The shorter boy looked up at him across the room, a curious expression on his face. "Dad once told me: 'There's nothing a girl enjoys more then being teased. Get the hang of that and you can talk to any of 'em.'" Tsuna's eyes widened- that was amazing! He had to try that out sometime... maybe he'd ask Enma-kun to help him practice during the movie-date. Lord knows they could both use some help talking to people.

His personal development thoughts were interrupted by the slightly more pressing issue of lizards and bullets, as he walked into what could only be a dancing hall. It was obviously modernly refurnished, with a floor that _gleamed_, a chandelier, and stacks of chairs by the far walls. It even had an enormous window instead of the eastern wall- were they really still in Namimori? Doing his best to ruin the effect, Naito Longchamp had spiked his hair, was wearing more buckles and rings then Gokudera, and was even wearing- for some reason- a miniature cowbell on his neck.

"Sawada-chan! Long time no see!" He leaped forward, eagerly shaking Tsuna's hand with both of his own.

"Ah, it's good to see you Longchamp-kun." As Tsuna recovered he looked around- his family had naturally gathered on one side of the room, facing Longchamp's. Man-something or other was there, as well as Goth-Girl and Weird-Boy, and some faceless Mafia-type goons in suits. Wait, he shouldn't think like that- he still wasn't in the Mafia, damn it.

"So, do you have the lizard anywhere?" Gokudera was straight to the point, looking around curiously.

"How dare you!" Mangusta stood up straight at his tone- even straighter then usual, somehow- indignant. "The Vongola are our enemies! You should be grateful the Tomaso are even willing to meet! It is our esteemed-"

"Pfft. Scum." Xanxus's furrowed eyebrows glared in his direction, halting the man's rant. "You really wanna take on the Vongola, go ahead and try." A thud emphasised his words, as one large boot slammed onto a nearby chair. "Why not wipe out one of the new guardians right now if you're so tough? Yeah?" Mangusta was shaking noticeably, but his gun was drawn, as well as one of those strange Desolation Bullets. This was bad! Ten seconds into the gathering and they had a war!

"Wait, calm down guys!" Tsuna's hands waved back and forth as he spoke. "We both want the same thing, right? To mate the lizards?" Please remember why we came!

"Yeah, peace, peace!" Longchamp agreed, pointing at the girl in their group. Tsuna wasn't even going to pretend to remember who she was, but she was in a Gothic Lolita dress and had tried to kill her energetic leader last time they met. He followed his command, pulling a small brown lizard out of a pocket.

"Say hi to Wesker, my family's shape-shifting lizard!" A thunderous silence met his words.

"Wesker... is a boy's name?" Tsuna eyed the lizard with sudden trepidation- did it just stick its tongue out at him? Was it mocking him?

"Say hello, Leon." Reborn hopped down from his own chair, nudging the green lizard closer to the brown one. _Reborn, that really isn't going to help!_ "You never know," he remarked casually, the baby turning towards Tsuna. He could still read minds...

"Yeah, Leon might like guys!" suggested Lambo, unwittingly sending Gokudera and the short kid from Longchamp's family into hysterics.

"Arrgh! Does this mean it's no good?" Ryohei looked to Tsuna, confusion dripping literally from his face as he sweated. Big brother was still uneasy thinking about anything related to mating, even when it was a lizard, it seemed. That or mentioning 'liking guys' had given him a flashback to his match with Lussuria.

"C'mon Wesker, what happened to all of your energy earlier?" Longchamp grinned sheepishly as he apologised to Tsuna. "Sorry, he was bouncing around when he shot Pantera last week, I swear!" He gestured with his thumb at Goth Girl as he said this.

"Wait... she's been shot with a Dying Moe Bullet? What's changed?" Tsuna was shocked out his disappointment- she seemed the same as always.

"Moe Bullet? Well, she hasn't kidded around as much lately, doesn't even get out her weapons to play with anymore!" Tsuna remembered her throwing sharpened pin-wheels at the boy once... had she stopped trying to kill him since being shot? _How unfair_! Tsuna's life had gotten _worse_ since the bullet came around, he deserved some of Longchamp's luck.

The noise was interrupted as Bel began laughing shrilly, Xanxus snorting with laughter.

"What the hell is this?" The room was silent, even Gokudera and Ryohei's earlier confidence gone.

"They're trying to mate the family lizards," Reborn explained helpfully. "This kind of lizard was bred exclusively by Mafia families, once discovered in an island off Mother Italy and trained for use in combat. They make very useful pets, but because of this their numbers are very low." Tsuna stared at his suited tutor, jaw in danger of hitting the floor from shock. Reborn just casually told Xanxus all of this, but wouldn't tell him how long a bullet lasts?

"Pfft." Xanxus remained unimpressed. "So it's some greenpeace-shit? What's that got to do with the Mafia?"

"Oh, they make new bullets when they're mating!" Longchamp tried to help, hoping more information would get rid of the thunderous aura coming from the Varia leader. His scars seemed to be bigger then before, and his eyebrows were down so low you could barely see his eyes.

"So I came all this way to watch you compare lizards? _When anyone worth my frickin time fights with their fists_, and doesn't rely on _pansy pets_ to save them with a _party trick_?" Oh God. His jacket seemed to billow from behind him- that had to be a trick of the light! Xanxus was getting mad again, and Bel's casual smile as he sat back meant he was probably going to watch and do nothing to restrain his boss.

"No, no, the bullets really help! I can show you!" Longchamp fumbled as he picked up the brown lizard, poking it as he desperately tried to coax it into changing into a gun. Tsuna turned to the boy, suddenly realising what his friend was going to do- if the bullets stopped that girl from killing him, would they work on Xanxus right now?

"Wait, Xanxus won't like being cute! He might get madder! Don't do it Longchamp!" he begged.

"Peace, peace! This doesn't make people cute!" Longchamp waved Tsuna's concerns aside, raising a million questions in their place. Then, without waiting, he shot Xanxus. Poof! A cloud of smoke filled the room, causing Tsuna to shriek in panic.

"You know," chirped the grinning baby by his side. "Each lizard has a different method of attracting a mate. That wasn't a Dying Moe Bullet he just shot your Varia leader with."

"Reborn! What are you saying?"

"Haha, you're totally right!" Longchamp nodded towards Tsuna, proud. "Every lizard has different taste, so my Wesker knows better then to bother with that cute stuff." Different was right... it's owner was Longchamp, after all, the very definition of 'acquired taste'.

"So... what does it do instead?" The brunet shrunk away from the cloud of smoke, eyes wide as he looked for signs of movement.

"It's the Horny Bullet!" Longchamp gave his fellow young Mafia leader a thumbs up, beaming a thousand-watt smile.

Horny? Oh... oh no. The cloud finally drifted away to reveal Xanxus, exactly the same as before but completely different. He was smiling. He wasn't angry. He looked hopeful. _He wasn't angry. _With almost Shamal-level precision, he quickly looked across the room, walking towards Chrome.

"Hey baby," Xanxus casually leaned against the wall, as if he didn't notice the stares of an entire silent room. "These guns are the kind Vongola the Seventh used in battle- impressive, right?" Chrome couldn't even squeak her answer back. Striking out, Xanxus tried his next target, Diana. Tsuna could only stare in amazement and horror.

"Yo, what do you think of a guy with sideburns?" The blonde recoiled in horror, leaping behind Hibari and burying her face into his back.

"Don't you take another step closer to me!" She shouted, voice muffled by the silent boy's jacket. "I'll swear I'll get my dark prince to beat you so hard-" Her voice was cut off as Hibari leant backwards, squeezing her against the wall by 'accident'. Diana pouted, but the imposing Varia leader had already moved on, any chance of a guy fight over her lost. Taking the hint, Xanxus turned to one of the female family members on guard duty near the window, saying something about how he gained his scars as he leant near her.

"Hahahahaha!" Gokudera, Yamamoto, Lambo and Ryohei all burst into laughter, unable to control themselves any longer. Hibari merely sighed and left the room, a disappointed look on his face.

"Well..." Tsuna fidgeted with his shirt, unsure if he was relived or even more worried. "I guess he won't cause any problems like that... at least, not the violent kind of problems..." Reborn nodded.

"It all went according to plan."

"Oh come on! You can't have known that any of this would happen!"

"Prove it." Damn that baby!

"Nice one, kid!" Bel interrupted their usual banter, the psychopathic Prince looming over him as he glared. "How long until Boss is back to himself?"

"Um, um..." Tsuna had trouble forming sentences. Was this guy smiling and mocking his leader for suddenly becoming a horny pick-up artist, or was that the creepy kind of smile he gave before he cut someone up and tortured them? "A few days... maybe a week or two..."

"Hn. Perfect." The knife-user left without giving him any more details, leaping through a window as he left Xanxus there, presumably Tsuna's problem now.

"Yo, girl." Now the Varia leader was talking to Goth Girl, Pantera if Tsuna had heard Longchamp correctly. "Hurry up and come with me, I'm getting real tired of this shit." _His real personality was still there! He couldn't even pretend to be nice for 3 girls in a row!_ Pantera nodded, her dress ruffling for a moment, before taking his hand delicately.

"Wait, she accepted?" Tsuna was dumb-struck.

"Hahaha, remember?"Longchamp grinned as he gave Tsuna the peace-sign. "She was shot with the Horny Bullet last week!" So... she'd stopped trying to kill Longchamp because she wanted to 'get it on' with him, and was horny? Tsuna connected the dots together in his head. Then right now, her and Xanxus were both super horny...

"This is bad! We have to keep them apart!" He hurried after the two, who were already leaving the ballroom with a satisfied grin and a shy smile respectively.

"What's the problem? They both seem happy!"

"Longchamp, come and help me now!" Tsuna felt like he had run into a brick wall, just like that time in Yamamoto's fight. Just when he thought things couldn't get any worse, the Varia show up, and Xanxus becomes a horndog. And now Longchamp was using Horny Bullets... please. Anyone. Make it stop. Because as things were, they were only getting worse and worse...

* * *

Written while wearing: The Mist Ring, which suits the structure of my story at this point~

A/N: Daaaang, Xanxus and Longchamp would have been hilarious together. As some of you have noticed, I have a new poll up! Let me know who you'd like to shoot the most, and I might listen! Feel free to let me know if I somehow missed someone from KHR's bloated soap-opera size cast, and yes, I am aware Tsuna isn't on the list. That was intentional.

Writing while hung-over is _hilarious_. I don't even remember writing some of what I've got. Hurblgherghrgh. More interesting news post comes next week.

I've noticed I get the same questions quite a bit, since some of these answers were only mentioned once back in chapter 5. So here's a quick recap I can refer you back to:

* * *

FAQ's:

**How long does a Moe/Sexy bullet last?**

Each bullet lasts from 3 days to 2 weeks before wearing off. There is no way of telling how long; it seems to depend on the person.

**Boo, I want someone else shot now! How long until the next bullet appears?**

Leon, and any other lizard, creates a bullet every 5 to 7 days. It's always a little varied to keep it a surprise. However, each lizard creates bullets separately- just because a Moe Bullet was made in 5 days, the next Sexy Bullet might take 7 days before being created, so the days won't always match.

**Shoot Tsuna, please?**

No.

**Aww, why not? Shoot Tsuna now!**

I have this story planned, for the most part, and that includes when Tsuna will be shot. Besides, shooting Tsuna now would be like beating Bowser at the start of a Mario game- who would bother playing the rest if the biggest baddie was already defeated? You can wait a little~

**Who's gay in this fic? What are the pairings?**

(Facepalms) That's one thing I personally dislike in fandoms. Changing someone's sexual preferences shouldn't be expected, and is OOC unless handled very, very carefully. It's one thing to slowly have Tsuna come to grips with liking boys **as well as** girls, as he discovers he is bi. But plenty of fanfic authors ignore his history of loving Kyoko, as well as the confirmation that loads of other guys in the series are straight in canon.

To answer your question about this fic, **everyone who is straight in KHR will be straight** at the start of this fic. I've taken one character who is unconfirmed and made them gay, and yes, the main pairing will be Enma and Tsuna, but the brunet is not going to wake up and suddenly hate Kyoko. It's very slow-paced, as you can tell by my writing so far, and gradual. Still, I'm sure no one minds the extra chapters of comedy that gives ^^;;

Sorry for the rant. Yeah, it is a little strange I'd go with a guyXguy pairing considering my dislike of the genre, but then this was only meant to be a comedy oneshot at first. No, there won't be any adult-rated smut either.

**I have an idea! Shoot Lambo/Xanxus/Chikusa/Yamamoto and make them a fire-fighter/ kitty-cat/ doll-sized/ mermaid!**

Glad to hear you have an idea! Please send me anything you think would work- I take requests, and this kind of story is very easy to add extra scenes into, so it could happen~ Please send them in PM's if you can, for the surprise of the thing. Same goes for de-transformation scene ideas, which I am totally making up on the spot anyway.

There, you now have enough info to write your own omakes where Tsuna gets shot. Hope that helped! Any remaining questions about the bullets, how I write, or even myself, you know where to send 'em. As Longchamp might say, peace out!


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